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Why does intimacy feel overwhelming, numb, confusing, or shut down after trauma?
In this episode of Healing Is a Messy Bitch, I break down how EMDR and sex therapy work together to help trauma survivors feel present, connected, safe, and empowered in their bodies again.
Sex can be deeply triggering for survivors — not because anything is “wrong” with you, but because trauma disrupts the nervous system pathways required for pleasure, trust, and embodied presence. Talk therapy alone can’t fully rewire this. EMDR helps process the trauma in the body, while sex therapy helps you reclaim desire, connection, and choice.
In this episode, we explore:
• Why sexual intimacy is so impacted by trauma
• How trauma changes the brain + sexual response
• Why dissociation, shutdown, and numbness happen
• How EMDR restores safety, presence, and body ownership
• How sex therapy rebuilds desire, pleasure, and relational intimacy
• A composite case (“Tara”) showing real transformation
• Why EMDR + sex therapy is one of the most powerful combinations for healing
If you’ve ever wondered:
“Why do I shut down during sex?”
“Why can’t I feel present?”
“Can trauma healing help my sexual relationship?”
…you’re in the right place.
✨ Work With Me / Learn More
Visit AmyWilhelmi.com for trauma-informed therapy, EMDR, sex therapy integration, trainings, and resources for clinicians.
✨ Next in the series:
Couples, Trauma, and the Body: How Somatic Therapy Transforms Attachment
Healing isn’t linear — but it is possible.
Your pleasure isn’t optional.
It’s part of your humanity.