When He Doesn't Want a Relationship - Do This - Peter Pan Syndrome

I really like you, but I’m not ready for a relationship right now. We have so much fun together, but I don’t want anything serious. Let’s just hang out and have fun. Sound Familiar?

Those words are difficult and painful to hear from someone you really like. Especially if you want to be in a relationship. It leaves you disappointed and unsure of how to respond. Should you continue to see him or walk away? Is he just not that into you, is he confused, or Does he have Peter Pan syndrome?

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I’ve got to say.. this is a difficult spot to be in… it really does suck when you were hopeful about a potential relationship… looking forward to exploring possibilities with someone…. And then they tell you they aren’t sure if they want to be in a relationship right now. Nevertheless, they still want to hang out with you… just nothing serious, right?

Of course, you’re going to be wondering.. is it me? Does he just not want a relationship with me, or does he not want a relationship with anyone? Is he confused about you, does he want the best of both worlds, or does he have peter pan syndrome? Having a better idea of what’s really going on will help you make your decision regarding what you want…

Guyys who are affected by Peter Pan Syndrome tend to be afraid of committing to a relationship, taking that relationship seriously, getting engaged, chasing after a career, leaving their comfort zone, or taking on any real responsibility. Instead, they rely on acting young, crazy, careless and/or afraid for as long as they possibly can.

So, if you recognize that he’s peter pan… what can you do?

Well, first, don’t try to fix them. afterall, you didn’t break them in the first place.
you cannot save a man from PPS, he must learn on his own and find his inner motivation. And Some men will not grow out of this for a long, long time.. so do yourself a favor and exit the relationhip gracefully.

But what about if it isn’t peter pan syndrome? What if he’s super successful and responsible in all other areas of his life.. great job.. accomplished academically… responsible.. and shows mature responsible behaviors in all other areas of his life? Or perhaps he has a solid history of long term relationships… then what? He tells you that he’s unsure and not ready for a relationship..

And lastly, Know that rejection does not mean you are not good enough. If For whatever reason, you were not right for someone else. That decision is up to them. It is easy to get hung up on the “whys” behind their decision, but dwelling on them doesn’t change the reality. If you aren’t right for someone else, That MEANS they aren’t right for you. Move on and let them go. And Do not use the experience as proof that you aren’t good enough. Meeting a person that’s not right for you.. a person that is not a good match is not a reflection on you… Period.

I'm Dr. Antonio Borrello, a psychologist and dating and relationship expert and author of Dating 3.0: Finding Love in the Age of Social Media and the Smart Phone.

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