Скачать или смотреть Empower Your Teenager - Setting and Examining Your Expectations

The evidence is clear that when we hold high expectations for our children, and we model the behavior we expect, that typically our children will rise to meet those expectations. This is very evident when our children are young…..and can work well when our children become teenagers too. However, for a lot of us parents, we haven’t examined those expectations thoroughly from a couple different angles.

#1 – we have to ask ourselves if we’re expecting something from our teenager that we are not expecting from ourselves. For example, if we’re expecting our teenager to manage their screen time, but yet we ourselves find it difficult to do the same and are always on a screen throughout the day. We have to take a look at that. We can’t possibly think it’s okay to expect our children to live up to an expectation that we ourselves can’t do, right?

#2 Are we expecting something from our teenager that is not realistic for who they are, or not realistic because we haven’t done a good job of teaching them how to meet the expectation.

#3 Are we pushing our expectations of our teenager from a place of fear….fear of losing control (which is a delusion within itself, because we never really had control to begin with), fear of a family pattern repeating itself (like substance abuse), fear of not being seen as a “good’ parent (this shows up when we’re more concerned with our agenda for our teen), fear of our child not living up to their potential…this one is sneaky. We think if we constantly push them to meet our expectations that we’re pushing them to reach their full potential. There is a way to do this successfully, but it can’t come from fear.

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