Morning Wood (1937) Jim Johnson

Jim Johnson' first single released way back in 1937. The song is about his personal ongoing experience of having to cope with morning wood everyday.

Lyrics -

Morning wood
The bane of my life
Morning wood
It's poking the wife

It's so hard to take a wizz
I gotta stand a few feet away
just to get it in
I pray to God that I don't miss
Or the wife will chop off my bits

Morning wood
Morning wood
Misunderstood

Have you ever tried to wizz in the dark?
Impossible when it's all hard
I gotta pinch my sack or pull out a pube
For the meat monster to be subdued

Morning wood
I wish I had flaps
Morning wood
Flipping flappy flaps

What do you do if you're still pitching a tent?
flick the tip?
NO!!
run into a wall?
NO!!
throw yourself down the stairs?
GOD NO!!
you have to bind the beast with the elastic of your pants
YES!!

Morning wood
morning wood
not a good morning
wood