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Transcript

Hi, everyone! I’m Dr. Liz and welcome back to my Polyamory 201 Series. Today, I’m talking about jealousy. Now, I’m sure those of you who have been doing polyamory for a little while have run into several times where jealousy has popped up for you. And I’m also sure that when you talk to your monogamous friends about what it is that you are doing, you got the same question I get asked every time I talk to a monogamous person about my non-monogamy, “But what about jealousy? Don’t you feel jealous? I could never do that. I’m just too jealous.”

I’m being melodramatic. I get that. But also, I feel that jealousy is this weird emotion that we treat completely differently than literally any other emotion. There’s no other emotion within relationships that we avoid literally everything for because we want to avoid that emotion. We would never say, “You know, I don’t want to feel angry ever. So you’re not ever allowed to do anything that will ever make me angry.”

We assume that anger is going to come up at some point in relationships that we are going to have to talk about it and deal with it and we hope that they don’t make us angry super regularly. But we don’t ever say that a relationship is a problem if you ever feel angry or that if you’ve ever felt angry once, they can never ever, ever do the thing again. It’s so complicated in relationships.

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