"I find it really hard to talk about my feelings as a result of abuse/trauma" AKA #4

In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, we go over the following 11 questions:

1 I find it really hard to talk about my feelings as a result of abuse/trauma, I'll often just shut down and not be able to make eye contact. I struggle with this in therapy, so I don't ever feel like I'm making real progress because I'm not opening up, I want to, but it almost feels involuntary. What do I do if I carry so much shame that I can't even tell my therapist what I'm thinking about or feeling?

2 For long-term depression that has been deemed medication-resistant, what are the best next steps?

3 My first therapy session was supposed to be this week but it was canceled because of coronavirus. I just feel like I can't handle a whole month in quarantine dealing with everything alone. Any tips for staying motivated so I don't waste all that time in bed feeling shitty?

4 Any advice for students (who are still learning virtually in the pandemic) on how to stay focused doing day-to-day reading, assignments, etc.? Between the stress of the situation and distractions of living off-campus, I'm finding it hard to find the motivation/energy to make it all the way through an assignment (and I'm sure many other students are, too).

5 I’m currently in high school and I want to pursue a psychology/therapy kind of profession. What would be the best types of classes that I could take in school or even out of school??? Also what colleges should I look at??? Your videos are a big way that I am currently educating myself. Thank you for being such a positive source

6 What are the ways to maintain connection and feeling safe in video therapy/telephone sessions? My therapist has switched to video sessions to practice social distancing and I'm finding it really hard to feel connected and safe. (transitional objects/ setting up a place where you always do it / rituals around it/ etc)

7 I would love to hear what self-care looks like for you as a therapist. How you keep work life at work/what you do to decompress/how you know it’s time to see your own therapist/what energizes you/etc.

8 Do you think it’s possible to get better on your own without any professional help whatsoever? I don't even know if I have a mental illness because I've never reached out for help because I strongly believe my problems are my problems and I should be able to sort it on my own without having to bother anyone else.. is trying to get better a waste of time if I'm just doing it alone?

9 I would like to hear more about self-compassion. What are the techniques?

10 I'm wondering about how to prepare and deal with (video) call sessions with my therapist. It makes me so anxious. Like in real life I have the tendency to get scared and not say what is on my mind, what if the calling makes me even more afraid because I get so overwhelmed..

11 Can attachment styles change over time? And if so can it be done in a way to improve mental health? (if we heal and work on ourselves it can, and it can also switch from one unhealthy attachment style to another which if I think about it is really more of a disorganized style anyway: the 4 types are secure, insecure-avoidant, insecure ambivalent, and disorganized).

I'm Kati Morton, a licensed marriage a family therapist answering your questions about mental health!

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