Narcissist's False Self HATES, FEARS Your intimacy!

NPD much like old conception of MPD unintegrated system while BPD like modern conception of DID (OSDD). Both are dissociative, post-traumatic conditions with external regulation of ego functions, affects, and moods.

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Main role of compensatory False Self is to protect the True Self which is shy, fragile, and vulnerable.

True Self no longer psychodynamically active, but False Self is inertial, believes that narcissist will die without it. So, False Self is anxiolytic and aimed to prevent regression to borderline emotional dysregulation.

Like all mental constructs, False Self is self-preserving (aka resistances).

False Self regards therapy and intimacy as not only threats (hurt, pain, heartbreak, hostile takeover), but also as competition: they offer emotional self-regulation and a coherent sense of self-worth, obviating the needs for narcissistic supply and grandiosity, the False Self’s main functions.

Cathexis in the False Self is diverted to therapist or partner and this generates envy of both outsiders and self as good object.

Therapy and healthy (non-dependent) intimacy (friend, lover, child, parents, mentors, etc.) also push towards the emergence of a core identity to replace the False Self. This newly emerging identity feels imposed and external. It constitutes a repeated narcissistic injury (vulnerability rather than omnipotence).

False Self fights back by inducing the twin anxieties (insecure attachment style), amplifying aggression and grandiosity, impairing reality testing via the shared fantasy, leading to paranoid and psychotic ideation thus undermining therapist or intimacy partner. Paranoia is also a form of self-supply.

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Borderline’s False Self is different to the narcissist’s although it is equally grandiose and reliant on others for external regulation.

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