Nine Inch Nails - The Hand That Feeds - Kawehi

Someone recently questioned if I should be headlining my own tour. This last tour was rough - some cities I did great, some cities I didn’t. In hindsight, I would’ve listened to my gut and waited until 2022 when were all comfortable/safe enough to party together in one sweaty, musical pizza party 🍕.

Coming home, I had serious thoughts about quitting. Never playing out live again. Ever. I was heartbroken and depressed. I have never questioned doing what I love for a living. But this time…I did. The lows were REALLY low, and paired with my stage fright/exhaustion/pandemic I was DONE. I thought….maybe I’m just not good at this?

And then this past weekend, I decided to go busking for the first time in almost a decade. I only played one song. I told myself I wanted to try the new portable battery out in the wild, and make a new youtube video - but really, I think deep down I wanted to see if I had it in me to get out there again, play in front of people and….ENJOY it, you know? And something amazing happened - I had FUN. I was sweaty, but I was SMILING. I still wanted to barf, but I was LIVING. I made $4, then spent that $4 on a shot of jameson 🎉💃🏻. I just had fun doing what I love for the first time in a LOOONG time.

xo.
k.