Palliative Care: Explaining "Dying" to a Child

This video was created in 2011 and we are sharing it in memory of Dr. Christine Newman, one of the pioneers of pediatric palliative care.

In this video, Dr. Newman details how to explain the dying process to children versus teens.

This video is provided for general information only. It does not replace a diagnosis or medical advice from a healthcare professional who has examined your child and understands their unique needs. Please speak with your doctor to check if the content is suitable for your situation.

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TRANSCRIPT

I try to get to that question with kids, kids that I work with, and most of them haven't seen death. So everybody thinks if you stop to think about it now you're probably thinking okay I'm living and I'm alive and I run around and I do everything I need to do and then suddenly I'm dead.  

But there's actually a process in between and that's called the process of dying where your body and your spirit are shifting. And because there is this period called dying, I'm able to reassure kids that it is highly unlikely, with most of the illnesses that children die from, it's highly unlikely that you would have a day where you feel normal, whatever normal is for you, with the underlying medical condition you have, go to sleep and not wake up. That's not how death comes. So for teenagers, of course I can give the answer just as I've given it to you now. For younger children, I give the same information but I would say that what happens is your body gets weaker and weaker and you sleep a little bit more every day.  

And then at some point your body stops. But it doesn't happen suddenly and you're going to know because you know your body so well. You're going to know when your mommy and your daddy are going to know and they're going to be able to help you and talk to you about it.

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