Скачать или смотреть Clean Pain Vs Dirty Pain

Clean pain is what we feel when the initial “injury” takes place (at the time and day of the event).

Clean pain often feels slow.. it’s:

grief.
Sorrow.
Regret (note: regret is different than shame)
Loss/sadness

Dirty pain is the suffering we feel as a result of story we tell ourselves about the event (note: even if the events are seemingly ongoing — as with parental alienation — there are always specific incidents that help to create the story we tell ourselves… WHAT WE MAKE THE EVENTS MEAN

Dirty pain often feels rushed. Anxious..

worry
Looping/ruminating on same thing over and over
Shame
Blaming (yourself or others)
“Should” or “shouldn’t” talk
Judgement

Dirty pain example:

I can’t succeed at anything because I feel like my ex is controlling my every move. He is a manipulative, diabolical monster who lives to hurt me, and will do whatever it takes to destroy me. He is dangerous. I’ll never break free of this hell.

Clean pain example:

I’ve been working on reclaiming control over my life, following my recent decision to end the relationship I was in. I’m feeling scared about how move forward with creating a new life, and what it will mean for my future. It was an abusive situation that I’m proud to have left, and am learning how to manage my anxiety and relax, while also staying safe and putting me first.

You have the power to change the story about ANYTHING you’re in (dirty) pain over.

As a reminder, nobody needs to know you’re changing your story, if you don’t want to tell. Also, some ppl think that if they change their story, they’re allowing a perpetrator to continue. This is NOT the case.

#cleanpain #dirtypain #emotions #processingpain #domesticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabuserecovery #parentalalienation #feelingstuck #feelinghelpless #posttraumaticgrowth #lettinggo #lettinggoofthepast #shame