The next Cartoon Network tape is much shorter, but it starts out, interestingly enough, with the end of a Gundam Wing episode on Toonami. I have no idea what’s going on, but from what I can see, a ringmaster’s assistant is plotting to kill his boss, while also pondering on how long it’ll be before his enormous haircut takes over his body.
Toonami closes down after the end credits, with the promise that it’ll be back tomorrow. Cartoon Network returns with a Tom and Jerry bumper, followed by a friendly message from Boomerang: “Hong Kong Phooey is on the other side, so watch it, because we need to keep the ratings up.” As you can see, I didn’t bother changing the channel, since I liked Tom and Jerry too much.
Then we get an advert for Sugar Puffs, featuring the Honey Monster playing football in an airport, while attracting only mild disapproval from the security staff. (This was before 9/11, remember.) The music is so funky, it actually makes you think you’ve travelled back to the year 2000, when in reality you’re still stuck in boring old 2015. Jonathan Pearce goes a bit mental after that in a free giveaway cross-promotion, probably because he’s desperate to say the House Robots are closing in.
After that is an advert for some Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue toys. I ended up getting all of these for my birthday in 2000, just to combine the accessories into the giant bird of death featured in the advert. Lightspeed Rescue is my second favourite series next to Time Force, but the former easily has the best theme song. Note how the villains are referred to as “evil aliens” and not demons as they are in the show, because no one cares about accuracy.
A little girl disowns her father and Barbie Oh God Make It Stop comes back to haunt us, right before an advert for Andrex. The puppy mascot - not voiced by Rik Mayall, sadly - scampers around and fetches his owner some toilet roll so he can wipe his ass. It’s amazing how these adverts make it look so clean.
Then it’s an advert for the CD:UK album. I only ever watched CD:UK just to see the intro, and promptly changed the channel after that. I was quite fond of the chocolate milk drink, though. (Yes, there was a CD:UK brand of chocolate milk. Don’t ask why.) The advert is filled with a menagerie of 2000s music that I’m sure will ignite your nostalgic senses. Ant & Dec’s narration, however, probably won’t.
An advert for the Cartoon Network website follows, specifically with a Gundam Wing theme. Maybe it’s just me, but websites seemed more interesting back in those days, probably because accessing the Internet was considered a treat in 2000. How we bloody laugh now.
Cow smacks the Red Guy with her phallic udders in a brief Cartoon Network bumper, just before Ed, Edd n Eddy cruise around the cul-de-sac in their ride, ready to bust a cap and take out some punk-ass bitches.
Tom is turned into a slider puzzle once more before the first short begins.
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