Скачать или смотреть I Pushed My Husband Away And He Left

"I pushed my husband away and he left."

You're expressing a fair amount of wisdom by recognizing that he didn't just leave that you
actually pushed him away. So let's talk about what we do now. The good news is this. We are normally pretty forgiving people that's just part of our human nature, and when we get married we're really invested. I mean let's face it it's the biggest decision we've ever made in our lives
so we're really invested in making our marriages work notwithstanding all the nonsense that comes from people who go, "Well, you could always get a divorce blah blah blah." Those people are fools. Those are the people who justify their behavior and don't want to change.

They're not willing to look at themselves which you have already done. You have taken the first step. You have looked at your own behavior and you recognized that you pushed your husband away. It's a big first step because you're seeing cause and effect. You're realizing that there is a law in operation here that for every action it's not just in material physics but it's in life. For every action there's a reaction. Now you got that far you in your mind go, "I pushed him away," but it's not entirely fair for you to take so much negative credit which they call blame for pushing him away because you didn't know how to be married. Let's also be realistic about this. Everyone complains about growing up and going to a worthless educational system that doesn't even teach us how to balance checkbooks but it's much worse than that.

Our educational system doesn't teach us anything about life, about ourselves, about our psyche.
The few people who are struggling and they want to go on, take courses in psychology and they still don't learn anything. They learn how to identify psychological diseases by virtue of symptoms so they could name things but they really don't understand how the mind works. They don't understand how relationships work. They don't understand that the mind is not the main component and this is the big problem. They don't understand that the mind is not the main component in a relationship. Think about that. The mind is not the main component in a
relationship. Well then, what is? Well, this is beautiful and I'm telling you this not to tease you but to let you know that there's more than just hope for you and your husband.

The main component is you as a soul, him as a soul, love. It's love. You got married because you loved your husband. That was the big hurdle. There were other aspects to him that told you he was someone you could love. And so you gave your love to him but you had no real guidance. It's such high-level stuff. It needs to be broken down. When you break it down, when you really understand yourself as a soul who has a mind, it's a possession. When you understand your husband as a soul who has a mind, and both of you have individual bodies of different genders so you need to learn that too. And then you learn how to build the love and not just coexist, not just exist together, not just see what happens but have a plan. It doesn't have to be a plan, "Okay. Today, I'm going to do this and tomorrow we'll do that," but there has to be some structure.

You're living in a marriage and your marriage is not over just because he left. You're living in a marriage. It's a something and that something has a texture. It has a schematic. It's constructed in such a way and when you understand it you could make it because we're organic to make it grow. So, what do you do? First of all, let me assure you that in most cases, now some of you are coming six months later and going, "What do I do? I haven't talked to him for six months. He won't talk to me." You have no kids. There's no communication and you're going, "What do I do?" And there's nothing I know of that you can do. But in most cases, he's just left. There's still communication, the love still exists even though you pushed him away. You can change yourself and this is very very very very important.

You've got to change yourself not just your behavior. I explain it this way. You have a dog. Let's pretend you had a dog and dogs love meat. They especially love cooked meat and you've trained your dog to not grab for the meat when you hold it in front of him until you give the word. You've trained him but he'll always be a dog. So that training if you don't maintain it will slip
but if you were able to turn that dog into a different kind of creature that didn't crave meat then you'll get the behavior of that new creature. So you, who has a mind are loaded down with all of these habits many of which are great. Unfortunately, a number of them are far less than great and those are the habitual behaviors that pushed him away. You the soul didn't push him away but your reactive mind pushed him away.

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