"...wonderfully gifted, kind people that are putting themselves out there to make connections with other people". Jim describes his experience with Danielle, a Cuddlist-certified practitioner and his journey into understanding and fulfilling his need for human connection at WFMU: In Real Life with Kimzilla and Emily.
Learn more about Cuddlist at http://www.cuddlist.com.
***Below is the transcript of the first few minutes:
Jim: This is Jim. I'm in my early 60s. I am a married father of three grown up children and I own my own small business. I come from a town just south of Boston. I've been suffering from chronic arthritis for years and I've gone to everybody and I've tried everything across the board. She's aware of the fact that I'm looking to replicate a relationship I had a few years ago with a great yoga teacher, who did things that I couldn't explain, but through a combination of her personality and the connections that she made ... I guess you wouldn't call it a customized regimen she came up from my limited physical capabilities. No hot yoga for me, you know? I found that I felt better.
My wife and I had shared this over the years. She understood it. There was never really any kind of question about whether or not it was something that was going to fall outside of the boundaries or anything like that. Yeah, in this particular case, we're very open about it. She understands why I go and what I'm looking for. It starts with the fact that I've had a lot of therapies and treatments over the years. Frankly, a lot of them become very impersonal. If you're in an infusion chair and you're sitting around for six hours, you feel isolated. In a way, you become ... I'm not going to say desperate, but you recognize you need some kind of connection with a very important part of your life.
It's because I had this a few years ago that I was in search of it. I really understood that it really took a specific person. I stumbled on Cuddlist quite accidentally. I didn't give it much thought until I read about it and worked my way through the profiles to get a sense that, "Wow, this might work." I really didn't think in terms of the specific things. I thought in terms of getting to know and getting to meet someone who could connect to you on a deep level. I had such a limited about of I guess physical reaction would be a way to describe it. I get pretty bound up with my condition here. Anybody that can just connect and take some of that tension away and make you feel that the time you spend is well-invested was worth the experiment.
I contacted Danielle, who happens to be my professional Cuddlist. She's in and around my area. There was something about the vibe she sent across the internet, something about the followup conversation that we had and something that continued through our first meeting. I knew this was a special person. She thought differently from other people. She wasn't looking specifically to say, "Let's hug. Let's lay down. Let's stand up." She said, "Let's find some comfort. Let's see if we can't connect with the things that are going to make you feel better." Just her demeanor and her whole presentation. Within seconds, you feel comfortable. You feel relaxed. Then an hour flows by and I'm not even sure I can describe it, but simple little touches. She holds your hand out and she puts her hand on the top just to see if she can pick up some kind of vibe about who you are and what you're about.
Whether she can or not seems irrelevant to me. What's most important is she's attempting to do that. You feel it. You sense that this is a person that's interested specifically in you and your well-being for the course of your session. That's maybe the most incredible thing about it is you know that you're bringing this incredible intention to it. These are special people. I think that they put themselves out there. They know that they can be subject to scrutiny and to criticism, but yet they do it with the intention of making someone else feel a little more special or a little more whole. More than anything, I felt that than any specific benefit for ... Well let me give you an example.
At one point, she says, "Let's lie with our backs up against one another and see if we can't get into a breathing kind of rhythm." You do that and 15 minutes go by. You say nothing. All of a sudden, you notice that you're ... The way you would feel before you fell asleep. Calm and relaxed. I had no idea which direction we were heading in, except that when we got there, I felt better. I felt better being in her presence and I felt better in the car on the way home. When I talked to my family, they noticed I looked and sounded a little bit better. I said, "I feel a little bit better." That drove me back. I can honestly say that with each session, you feel a little bit calmer, more composed, a little less stressy. I'm not sure I can really deal with catastrophic illnesses or pain, but it does a lot for your psyche.
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