Dementia and Anger Outbursts (3 Mistakes That You're Making)

Download 2 FREE dementia cheatsheets at this link: https://dementiasuccesspath.com/yt-cs

1- Activities Ideas
2- What to say/do for specific Challenging Behaviors

Thanks for watching! In this video, I share 3 common mistakes that could be triggering dementia anger at loved ones, exactly what to do and say instead to prevent them from getting angry with you (with examples).

Dementia Activities Cheatsheet + Challenging Behaviors Cheatsheet Download Here:
https://dementiasuccesspath.com/yt-cs

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Make sure to watch to the end of the video to see how to de-escalate if all else fails and they do get angry or agitated.

Mistake 1: Too Many Words too Fast
Too many words or talking too fast for a dying brain is information overload. For a lot of folks the only way for them to communicate
to you that they don't understand what you're saying or that they are embarrassed that they can't keep up is to get upset, yell or strike out.

What to Say & Do Instead
In the first example, the dementia person's dying brain is trying to process too much at once. In the second, we have managed to keep things simple and easy to process.

This doesn't mean talking to your loved one or client like a child, simple means you are taking all the side conversation and cutting it to what they need to know as well as giving them some time to think and answer you.
This way you're setting them and yourself up for success.

Mistake 2: Commanding Instead of Asking
Commanding instead of asking can be very tempting, especially with safety and health issues. However, being told what to do especially by your child,grandchild or someone significantly younger than you can feel humiliating and demoralizing to anyone, especially someone who is already struggling with basic things.

What to Say & Do Instead:
Ask and collaborate with you loved one or client. This approach tends to work better for a few reasons:
1) You get more information about what your mom wants which is to stay in her room. The more you know about your loved one or client's wants/needs the easier it is make it so you both get what you want
2) By asking you are also giving choices which makes your loved one or client they feel in control.
When they are more in control, they are less defensive,
Them being less defensive means that they  will be more willing to compromise vs dig their heels in.

Mistake 3: Your Tone of Voice and Body Language is Frustrated/Angry
Often times, folks with dementia listen to tone of voice and body language
more than your words to figure out what's going on. If you walk up head on, looking mad and sounding frustrated, they will see you as a threat and defend themselves.

What to Say & Do Instead:
With a happy clear voice and standing to the side of them ,you communicate with your tone and body that you are friendly and not scary.

What if They Still Get Angry?
Sometimes, despite our best efforts our loved one or client still gets angry and agitated. It could be due to a delusion or fixed belief, hallucination or them not feeling well they get mad no matter what. When the approaches above are tried and don't work try 2 things:

1st Thing
Hear them out and validate their feelings. Saying something like "That sounds hard. Can I help?" can go a long way

2nd Thing
If that fails as well, in my experience, it means that for whatever reason you are the target of their frustration. If someone else is there, get that person to help. If you're on your own, put your loved one on the other side of the room faced away from you if they can't be left alone or leave the room or house if they can to let them cool off.

Share in the comments your experiences or any questions.