Pokemon Legends Arceus: A Phony Revolution

Everyone looked at Legends Arceus to save a stale, bland franchise and usher in a new age, just as Breath of the Wild did for The Legend of Zelda.

But with GameFreak at the helm, any plan is ash.

This game does have a few things about it that I can appreciate and at times, even enjoy. But holy hell, the lattice that the gameplay clings to is made of a wood so rotten I'd mistake it for fungus.

Pokemon Legends Arceus features some of the most deeply mind-boggling mistakes and misunderstandings around storytelling and their own franchise that I've ever seen.

In Summary: I'M NOT PLAYING ANYTHING GAME FREAK TOUCHES, LOOKING AT ANYTHING GAMEFREAK MADE, OR ACKNOWLEDGING THEM AT ALL UNTIL PALWORLD COMES OUT AND I CAN RUB THAT IN THEIR FACES. I AM SO TIRED.

TIMESTAMPS!
00:00 - Introduction and Context
04:21 - Pokemon with some extra bits
07:35 - Finally: Enjoyable Gameplay
19:45 - Technically, a story
41:45 - An Incoherent Setting
53:54 - God Help Us All
56:30 - I just want Palworld already.

MUSIC USED!
Keckleon's Shop - PMD Sky
The Gatekeepers - PMD Sky
Oleana Battle - Pokemon Sword and Shield
The Illusionary Pokemon - Pokemon Anime
Onett - Earthbound
Metropolis of Fourside - Earthbound
A Huge Free-For-All - Pokemon Anime
Craggy Coast - PMD Sky
Mt Bristle - PMD Sky
Pokey's House - Earthbound
Happy Happy is Blue - Earthbound
Future Remixed - Fossil Fighters Champions
Mt Horn - PMD Sky
Steam Cave - PMD Sky
Oh No! - PMD Sky
Opening Credits - Earthbound
Magicant - Earthbound
Dr Toadley - Mario and Luigi Bowser's Inside Story
Drenched Bluff - PMD Sky
Guildmaster Wigglytuff - PMD Sky
Welcome to the World of Pokemon! - PMD Sky
In the Depths of the Pit - PMD Sky
JigglyPunk - Pokemon Masters
Apple Kid's Theme - Earthbound
Newcomer's Bridge - CrossCode
Battle Etude - Fossil Fighter's Champions
Growing Anxiety - PMD Sky
Rising Fear - PMD Sky
File Select - Earthbound
Imprisoned - CrossCode
The Path of Justice - CrossCode
Taking What Does Not Belong - CrossCode
The Path of Justice - CrossCode
Awakened - CrossCode
Battle Against SPOILERS - PMD Sky
Mr Saturn Z - Mother 3
Unsettling Opponent - Earthbound
Fierce Battle - CrossCode
Origin Dialga/Palkia - Pokemon Legends Arceus
Giratina Battle - Pokemon Legends Arceus
The Beach at Dusk - PMD Sky
Job Clear! - PMD Sky
Past Events - CrossCode
Lower Brine Cave - PMD Sky
Team Skull - PMD Sky
Valse d'Ahoge - CrossCode
M.S. Solar - CrossCode
Glitch - CrossCode
Upper Steam Cave - PMD Sky
In The Future - PMD Sky
Your Best Nightmare - Undertale
Giygas - Earthbound
It Can't Be - PMD Sky
Trailer 3 - PalWorld
Don't Ever Forget (I certainly can't) - PMD Sky
Title Theme - PMD Sky

Stock footage provided by Videvo, downloaded from videvo.net