Скачать или смотреть AI Trump: Elon Musk Entered The Pentagon Time Portal To Prevent Jeffrey Epstein From Existing

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WASHINGTON, DC (November 7, 2025): In a rambling press conference, President Donald Trump announced that Elon Musk, using the Pentagon's new, $100-quintillion time travel portal, traveled back in time in order to prevent the existence of Jeffrey Epstien, the israeli agent, predator, fraudster and blackmailer.

Mr. Trump repeated his assertions that there was no relationship between himself and Mr. Epstien, claiming that "Jeffrey Epstein never existed."

Musk's time travels presumably passed through Canada, where he brought some McDonald's poutine for Mr. Trump. The president then undertook to sign an executive order compelling McDonald's to sell poutne here in the United States.

Finally, Mr. Trump praised his own foreign policy successes, crediting his proposals to purchase Greenland, Canada, Mexico and Panama to Mr. Musk sharing his marijuana with him.

Mr. Trump also revealed that a plan to purchase Venezuela may also be in the works, thanks to a drunken defense secretary, Peter Hegseth.

BONUS: The Simpsons scene where Homer unmasks presidential candidates Bill Clinton and Bob Dole, revealling them to be space aliens.