Why I Went Permanent, No-Contact with My Narcissistic Family of Origin

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Those videos made an enormous difference and gave me the answers I have wanted for decades.

I now know what happened. I wouldn't have described what I know as self-respect. More like an inner knowing and a natural, deep connection with the flow of life.

Did my family know what they were doing? Perhaps. But I don't think they realised the deeper meaning, nor what it would do to me.

As for the purpose, it was to frighten me so much that I would lose my natural connection, and by forcing me into and keeping me in a state of fear, they could control me and manipulate me to serve their ends.

Never did they believe I would figure them out. When I did, I went immediate, permanent no-contact.

But it wasn't enough. The fear remained and kept me disconnected from my natural state of being.

Unable to find my way back, this set me up for a lifetime of suffering and to be taken advantage of at every turn.

Many years ago, I had a realisation, of why I had so much trouble in Canada. I felt many people live intellectually, from the shoulders up.

Yet, when I arrived in Mexico, I was instantly at home, despite not knowing the language. In time, I realized why. Mexicans are heart centred people with a strong connection to the Earth.

With a bit of a shock, I realized I am the same. The last time I wrote about this, many Mexicans reached out to me. Some went so far as to say that even though I was born in another country, in many ways, I am more Mexican than Canadian.

Perhaps.

As for the disconnect, I thought the issue was Canadian society. I was wrong. The root cause was my family and their intention of keeping me in a state of fear.

From the perspective of the world, one would say they are evil. Except for one thing. I know that isn't true. Coming from a deeper place, from a spiritual perspective, they are unconscious, essentially programmed robots acting out a script.

Knowing that brings to mind a teaching of Jesus, where he says, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do." It is the same here.

From that perspective, it is easy to forgive them and all who have harmed me.

It DOES NOT mean that I would want to associate with such people. For those who have caused the greatest harm, firm boundaries are necessary and of remaining permanent, no-contact. That is the only way I can keep myself safe.

Knowing what I now know has allowed me to reconnect to the flow of life and and to my natural state of being.

We will see what happens now.

Questions? Write to me at visutalartist49 AT gmail.com