My BF Likes It When I Dress Like Animals

Before I knew it he pulled out a collar and shackles. He slammed my hands to the edge of the bed and began clamping it so tightly it hurt. "Ouch! I don't want this anymore!" I pleaded.

Most kids are nerds no matter what deep down. Nerds over sports, TV shows and everything in between. For me, it was cartoons and Japanese animations. I was in love with everything art and cartoon related, I even drew my own comics and dabbled in Cosplay.

We started texting and this is where things started to turn sour. It started off innocently but little things began happening overtime. He would encourage me to do all sorts of strange things like dress up in animal costumes with him, where he would proceed to tell me how cute and adorable I looked in those outfits. Not that that was already weird... he then started telling me to do all sorts of strange things in them, even when they hurt. It felt so wrong but the attention he gave me when I did what he said.. drew me in. I finally felt wanted by someone.. by him.

We began having phone calls and video calls all the time. The thrill and excitement I got from his attention slowly turned into an addiction, I felt like I needed his validation but he never seemed satisfied. Things only began to escalate, the more I would give in to his demands. Eventually, he gave me rules.. he would demand I ‘put on my costume before speaking to my master’ with outlandish tasks like ‘lick yourself clean’ or ‘go sit in the corner until you behave’. I would sometimes sit there for hours until I could no longer feel my legs but somehow, I would always just listen because I didn't want to disappoint him.

Despite this, all I could think about was when I would get to text him again. When I would get my next fix. My grades had fallen and I had lost control of my own thoughts and what was best for me. He would scary things to me that makes me too nauseous to even repeat. He’d buy me dirty videos and describe them to me in full detail. Telling me what he wanted to do to my in my 'outfits'. And I ate it all up. I felt older. Mature. For the first time, I felt like an adult that was loved and wanted.

One day we had finally planned to meet in person and I was ecstatic! He took me to a hotel room where we were going to stay with another friend. We were supposed to all go to a college party together but instead Frank insisted we stay in together. As soon as his friend left, he plopped a bag on the bed and demanded I open it. I was horrified to pull out what seemed like a cat outfit... it had ears, a tail.. the whole shpeel. “Put it on,” He said grinning.. I was beginning to get worried.. but still, I obliged.

The second he walked out of the room I sprung straight into action. I started biting at the shackle wrapped around my wrists as hard as possible, anything to get one piece loose. To my luck, it started to move and buckle open and I was able to break free! I didn't even care to grab any of my things and ran straight for the door, tripping on everything in sight. I didn't even take the lift and instead sprinted down the stairs, barely catching a step as I rushed to the bottom floor and out through the back exit of the hotel.

After a painful year of recovery and deconditioning myself from his way of thinking, I started to shine through the cocoon I had built around myself. I started wearing what I wanted. I stopped thinking so little of myself and I even met a boy my age who has stuck by me for almost two years and has helped me recover. I made friends. I graduated with straight A’s and got into a good college. I was finally me again. The storms glued to my side like a parasite had vanished and I could finally move forward with a clear vision of who I was, and who I was meant to be. Though I still feel that pull sometimes. That urge to see his face, I have people who can help me recover and help me move forward.

We chose this story because we want to encourage people to speak up if something similar has happened to them and to seek help if they're still in such a situation. We hope this video will encourage people to feel empathy and compassion for those who have gone through such experiences. And we hope that it will encourage us all to do what we can to prevent these things from happening. Even if it does happen we want to encourage people to speak up for their own safety

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