Top Horner and His Megaphone

[Verse 1]
I stand in this fucking formation, staring straight ahead, My eyes fixed on Top Horner, he's a sight to dread.
He grabs the fucking megaphone, takes a deep breath, And starts to say some things, it's quite a mess.
[Chorus]
Oh, Top Horner, Top Horner, what the fuck you say, It's so off the wall, it's driving us astray.
We stand here in this goddamn formation, our minds in a spin, Wondering what the hell we've gotten ourselves in.
[Verse 2]
He talks about his momma, his dog, and his wife, His favorite sandwich, his pick-up truck, and life.
He's got a story for everything, including the weather, And we can't help but wonder, who's in charge of this fucking tether?
[Chorus]
Oh, Top Horner, Top Horner, what the fuck you say, It's so off the wall, it's driving us astray.
We stand here in this goddamn formation, our minds in a spin, Wondering what the hell we've gotten ourselves in.