Raiders of the Lost Vending Machine

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Why isn't there a cool way to kill a wizard? Werewolves get silver bullets, Trolls must die by fire, Vampires get stakes though the heart, but wizards? Nothing! You can just kill a wizard any regular way you kill a human. If Voldemort had a light machine gun... he could have wiped out Hogwarts EASY. There wouldn't be enough characters left for a second movie, unless the sequel was called "Harry Potter and the Swiss Cheese Corpse Factory!" …sorry that was morbid. But... this is exactly why things need to change!

I propose a brand new, exclusive method to kill a wizard that needs to be adopted across all media. It needs to be only specific, rare, and difficult, yet not so difficult that a protagonist couldn't pull it off. Hmmm... I've got it! Crush it with a vending machine! Wait wait before you judge, hear me out!

Vending machines kill 6 people a year, so it's definitely rare, plus it's not that hard to push a vending machine on someone. "Well then that's too easy" you might say. BUT have you ever and I mean EVER saw, or even IMAGINED a wizard at a vending machine? You're not gonna see Gandalf get frustrated that he typed B6 instead of B7 and now he's stuck with an almond joy, when he really wanted a king-sized Reece's cup! You got to get a wizard near a vending machine in the first place! Do you convince a wizard that they're craving a Butterfinger, so you can strike at the right time?! Or do you risk that they stands perfectly on an "X" and don't notice the giant suspended vending machine waiting to fall on them!? That's the catch, it's such a unique challenge!!

So your honor... NOW do you think I'm crazy?!!

Music:
A Minute to Decide - Experia
Hunting for Freedom - Arylide Fields
The New Order - Aaron Kenny
Villain Verses Young Hero - Grant Newman
Horror House - Aaron Kenny
Lord of the Land - Kevin Macleod

Written and Directed by:
Frank St. John & Michael Romaniello

Cinematography by:
Mitchell Nance

#Wizards #Comedy #SketchComedy