Anxiety Sculpture By Liz Marek

Collaboration Page:   / unseenbattlescollab  

Made with Hot Hands modeling chocolate www.hothandsmc.com

"For a long time, I myself didn't even understand that there was something going on with me. I couldn't see anything physically wrong with me. I just thought that tight feeling of panic in my chest was just my personality. It's normal to have irregular heartbeats, right? I thought everyone felt internal screaming at the thought of going to a small get-together. I once got physically sick at the idea of going to dinner with long-time friends and couldn't find a way to explain to my husband WHY I couldn't bring myself to go to dinner. Whenever I would work on a project, all these internal voices are telling me that I have to work three times as hard or everyone is going to laugh at me, tell me I'm stupid, say my work is horrible. One critical comment in a sea of hundreds of adoring comments would send me into fits of depression and self-loathing. It wasn't until my mid-thirties when my husband and I started trying to get pregnant that a doctor discovered that I had high blood pressure and an over active thyroid (hyperthyroidism) which results in nervousness, anxiety, problems sleeping, panic attacks and other symptoms. While I was pregnant I had to be put on medication to level these issues out so that my panic attacks would not put the baby in danger. For a year I knew what it was like to feel calm for the first time in my life. The downside was that I lost my drive, my ambition to work and felt depressed. After I had my healthy baby, I weaned myself off the medicine and started looking into natural ways to deal with my anxiety. I've since learned some breathing exercises and foods that help combat that anxious feeling but really, the most helpful part is understanding that this is part of me. Something I deal with and never talk about because I don't want anyone to think that it limits me but I know many others out there deal with it too and to them, I say you're not alone and you shouldn't feel weak or ashamed. We all have hidden struggles we have to deal with. Anxiety is mine."