The Linebreakers – Fight the Feature Creep

Music: "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele Adkins and Paul Epworth.

Performed by The Linebreakers
Heather Downing: vocals
Hannes Lowette: guitar
Mark Rendle: bass
Vagif Abilov: keys
Dylan Beattie: everything else

Camera: Magnus Kristiansen

Special thanks to @NDC Conferences

Lyrics:

There's a requirement, on top of my stack,
Seeking enlightenment, I message you on Slack,
I don't see why we're waiting to go live
Our funding ran out months ago, we're struggling to survive

Nobody needs all this shit you're specifying
Developers are burning out, the CFO is crying
All these requirements, sat here on my stack,
No way we'll ship them all while we're still in the black

The project backlog’s a hundred miles long,
You keep on saying, we’ve gotta have it all,
The project backlog’s a hundred miles long,
I can’t help thinking…

We ought to cut ‘em all
(haven't got a clue, what is MVP)
Fight the feature creep,
(like a waterfall, features gonna creep)
Right from the start we tried, had a plan
(haven't got a clue, what is MVP)
But you say it’s incomplete
(like a waterfall, features gonna creep)

Maybe I don't know what we should have done,
But our nearest competitor just shipped their version 1,
It doesn't run on blockchain, scan Facebook for your friends
They hit a million signups in their opening weekend,

The project backlog’s a hundred miles long,
(haven't got a clue, what is MVP)
You keep on saying, we’ve gotta have it all,
(like a waterfall, features gonna creep)
The project backlog’s a hundred miles long,
(haven't got a clue, what is MVP)
I can’t help thinking...
(like a waterfall, features gonna creep)

We ought to cut ’em all
(haven't got a clue, what is MVP)
Fight the feature creep,
(like a waterfall, features gonna creep)
Right from the start we tried, had a plan
(haven't got a clue, what is MVP)
But you say it’s incomplete
(like a waterfall, features gonna creep)

We ought to cut ’em all
Fight the feature creep,
Right from the start we tried, had a plan
But you say it’s incomplete

Cut your road map, cut it to the bone
Nobody cares if we run on Windows Phone
Nobody’s buying, the vision that you sold,
Maybe time to pick up the agile manifesto