[DtS:NP] Stratobloxxer's Testament

Flo-Rida Man invests five years of rhythm gaming for something uncharitably stupid, lives to have the absolute time of their lives (free of charge). Now features Guitar Hero, Guitar Hero II, Guitar Hero 3: Legends of Rock, Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, Encore, Decades, World Tour, Van Halen, and most importantly, GarageBand on the hit mobile game: AppStore.

The Stratobloxxer, like most weapons that are more challenging than Baldur's Gate 3's raw male fantasy, is a Miscellaneous exclusive superweapon that can be earned through completing Defend the Statue's TALE OF TESTAMENT challenge badge.

Using the song's BPM as its main source of Damage, DPS, and the time it takes to purchase an actual Guitar Hero controller from inflated prices off Ebay, the Stratobloxxer allows the user to choose from being aggressive to compete against rhythm gaming ChatGPT to being defensive as it provides healing capabilities more versatile than the time Overwatch 1 was shut down only for Overwatch 1: Episode 2 to be released on Steam.

As the weapon solely relies on the game's soundtrack and the user's skills regarding Polyrhythm Hell, the Stratobloxxer replicates gameplay that would put an end to all of Roblox Friday Night Funkin' games that exist... with the only caveat being if the user's skilled enough to play Through the Fire and Flames on the Stratobloxxer.

0:00 - Overview (Vanguard Sound - Solar Sea)
4:37 - Offense Stance (Devil May Cry 3 - Devils Never Cry)
8:39 - Defense Stance (Under Night in Birth - Beat Eat Nest)