What to think about when you get into bed to help you relax and make sleep happen

If you find that it's hard to fall asleep at night because your mind starts racing as soon as you get in bed and you just can't seem to relax, it can be helpful to implement relaxation techniques such as breathing exercises or visualizations — as long as your goal is relaxation rather than sleep!

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If your mind continues to race and you are finding it hard to fall asleep, it can be helpful simply to recognize that you aren't sleepy enough for sleep just yet.

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So, with this in mind, often the best thing to do if you struggle with an overactive or racing mind at night is to make sure you are sleepy enough for sleep when you go to bed. One way you can do this is to implement sleep/bedtime restriction and follow a regular and appropriate sleep window.

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If you are sleepy enough for sleep when you get into bed then your mind will be less active and you will usually find it easier to fall asleep. If your mind starts racing, you just can't relax, and being in bed starts to feel unpleasant, get out of bed and do something relaxing and enjoyable until you feel sleepy again — then return to bed and see what happens.

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Getting out of bed when you are finding it hard to sleep helps build sleep drive and prevents you from reinforcing the idea that the bed is a place for unpleasant wakefulness. If you want your bed to become a strong trigger for sleep, you want to be spending most of your time in bed asleep rather than awake.

At the end of the day, you cannot make yourself sleep. However, sleep drive can generate sleep — if you spend enough time awake (in other words, as soon as you are sleepy enough for sleep) you will always sleep. The more you fill your sleep window with sleep and the less time you spend awake during the night, the less you will worry about sleep and the easier sleep will become. This will lead to a calmer and more relaxed mind when you get into bed at night.

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My name is Martin Reed and I am the founder of Insomnia Coach®. I offer sleep coaching services that give people with insomnia all the skills and support they need to enjoy better sleep for the rest of their lives. I also offer a free two-week sleep training course for people with insomnia at https://insomniacoach.com/sleep-train...

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