Скачать или смотреть This Christmas Gift Sucks (obscure 60s soul)

An obscure Motown Christmas classic, "This Christmas Gift Sucks" was recorded in 1963 by vinyl oddity Leroy “Smokey Gravy” Jenkins after he opened a pair of tube socks mid-session and lost his damn mind. Legend says he stormed into the studio wearing the socks on his hands, ranting over a greasy soul loop while the band tried not to laugh. Pressed on a limited-run 45 and buried under a gospel B-side, the funk-laced tantrum flopped—until holiday crate-diggers revived it as a cult soul favorite for the gift-traumatized.

Lyrics:
Mmm...
You ever open somethin’ SO bad,
you wanna slap Santa in his jingle bells?
Yeah... this one’s for all the cheap-a** relatives out there.
Merry broke-a** Christmas.

Got a sweater from my aunt,
three sizes too tight
Looked like it lost a fight
with the Christmas lights
Said it’s “vintage”
nah, that sh*t was cursed
Like a possum wore it first,
and left it in a hearse

My cousin gave me socks
with his d**n face stitched in
Now every step I take,
I’m stompin’ on his grin
Grandma got me cologne
from a corner store rack
Smelled like bad choices.
and a panic attack

This Christmas gift sucks!
like a slap in the n*ts
Like a fruitcake with glass,
or a bounced cheque for five bucks
If thoughtfulness was gold,
y’all broke as f*ck
You can wrap up trash,
but this Christmas gift sucks!

Uncle gave me a mixtape
said “this sh*t’s fire”
It was 90 minutes of him breathin’ heavy
and a flat spare tire
Said “support the fam”
man, don’t be bold
I’d rather get socks
with holes full of mold

Auntie gave me lotion
in a dusty-a** jar
Had a hair floatin’ in it
like it came from a bar
Lil’ nephew made a drawing,
said “that’s you and your boo”
Looked like a stickman Santa
that sniffed too much glue.

This Christmas gift sucks!
like expired eggnog
Like mistletoe kisses from a
foaming rabies dog
Got me laughin’ so hard
I just might upchuck
It’s a Christmas-time disaster,
This Christmas gift sucks!

Now look... I ain’t tryin’ to be ungrateful
But if your present look like
leftovers wrapped in tinsel,
I’m re-giftin’ that trash
next year
With a bow...
and a middle f****r

Got a “spa kit” from my sister
all cheap and wrong
It was a sponge, a rock
and a half-used thong
Said “Self-care is love”
nah, this is a scam
You giftin’ me junk
while posting bling on the 'Gram!

My girl made a coupon book
“One sexy surprise”
But it’s just her in sweatpants
rollin’ her eyes
Last year she gave me drama
and a week on the couch
This year I’m prayin’ "Santa,
please help a brother out!"

This Christmas gift sucks!
it’s a holiday shame
Like a gift-wrapped t*rd
you think this is a game?
It’s the thought that counts,
but y’all ain't thinkin' too much,
Put your effort where your mouth is
This Christmas gift sucks!

Yeah…
So next year, save the glitter
and the half-a**ed cheer
If it ain’t useful, shiny,
or costs real money,
don’t come near
I’ll smile, I’ll hug you,
I’ll sip the punch slow
But inside I’m screamin’,
“Who raised y’all?

I need to know.”

Merry Christmas…

And keep the receipt, baby.

All music and lyrics written by Relatable Grooves. All video descriptions are made up for comedic purposes. I'm just an AI musician for fun.

#aimusic #soulmusic #vinyl #christmasmusic #60s