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Stuttering is not bad: https://www.freefromstutter.com/blog/...

If you’re a person who stutters and you think, “I want to stop stuttering! I need to get rid of stuttering. Help me please!” this video is for you.

It might be counterintuitive at first, but as you go deeper you will see that it’s a game-changer!

Here is a recap of this video:

0:23 Speaking vs Stuttering

So, the first thing I want you to understand, to realize on our journey to freedom from stuttering is that stuttering is not bad.

"What?" you might say.

Yes! As long as you feel that stuttering is bad all our exercises, techniques, and tools are pretty much useless. The first thing to ask yourself and be clear about is whether you’re trying to manage, to control, or to deal with stuttering or you try to develop your speaking skills.

As long as we feel, “it’s bad, I hate it, it’s the cause of the problems, etc.” it’s always stuttering and fluency, and we simply can’t bring the focus to the right thing. Your focus is distracted. We can’t focus, can’t start developing the skills that we want to develop in the physical and emotional parts of our speaking. We can’t even start our journey to freedom from stuttering, we can’t even get on this path.

6:34 It's simply not true!

And by the way, this belief that “stuttering is bad” is simply not true. The stuttering, the speech impediments themselves are neutral.

I want you to see that there’s always always always one of these 3 things below or a combination of these:

1) Shame
"They laughed at me, they mocked me, they bullied me!"

2) Unrealistic expectations
"Why did I do it so poorly! I could have done it better! I should have said it fluently!"

3) Hiding behind the stutter
"They rejected me at a job interview because of my stutter!"

So, the shame, unrealistic expectations, hiding, avoiding, and holding back - that’s what bad.
And these are not the stuttering itself. I mean it is part of this big stuttering iceberg and that’s why I call it the invisible 90% of stuttering, but these are not disfluencies. These are the product of our belief that stuttering is bad.

10:45 Let go of this story

I want you to start letting go of this story that we’ve been telling ourselves that stuttering is bad. And a great way to start letting it go is to see why we really tell ourselves this story.

At the very base level, it’s our expectation and other people's expectation as well that we should and we can be fluent. We create a huge negative feeling of a mistake inside. But stuttering is not a mistake.

13:37 Recap

When we feel it’s bad we tend to work on stuttering instead of working on our speaking (give me the tools to stop my stutter). We want to work on the fundamentals of our speaking and the structure of our speaking. We don’t want to work on the stutter. We want to work on our speech and how we feel at that moment. We want to make our speaking secure, powerful, effortless, relaxing, and engaging.

As long as we feel bad about it we constantly shift to our stutter, that’s where our focus goes distracting us from the real work we want to do.

Bottom line - we want to feel that stuttering is a friend. Feeling that speaking is not dangerous because stuttering is not dangerous. We’re not escaping stuttering better, we’re learning to present ourselves, to open up, and be truly present in the interaction.

If you’re still not friends with stuttering and if you want to go deeper into what we can do with stuttering and our speaking and how we feel about it - I invite you to the Free From Stutter Assessment and Improve Training. And for more interaction join the Free From Stutter Facebook group. It’s crucial not to stay isolated, it’s vital to feel you’re part of the community.

Write down in the comments why stuttering is bad for you. Anything that comes to your mind. Don’t filter it. Let it all out.

And then do the assignment - analyze it! See one of those things that make stuttering bad. I'd love to know what you think!

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Stuttering is not bad:    • Stuttering is not bad