my cluster B parent died and I felt.... nothing much (2/2) [cc]

A two-part reflection on how I became indifferent to a destructive cluster B parent, examining the transformative processes children of malignant households go through between our birth into psychological chaos and our eventual departures. Names altered for anonymity.
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0:00 recap of part one
1:55 defence
2:14 obstacles and despair
3:48 withholding information
4:40 withholding emotion
5:07 withholding contact
7:08 one-down emotions
7:33 dethroning emotions
9:24 seeing the mask
10:52 defiance
11:34 Rags
15:00 first defiant episode
16:29 sliding back to defence
16:56 second defiant episode
18:39 uncontrollable superpowers
20:16 shifting tactics
21:30 losing my religion
24:51 containing the uncontained
26:44 detachment
27:10 continuing abuse of others
29:13 projection
31:09 no more protecting the abuser
32:38 moving out into detachment?
33:18 denial
33:26 persisting in your folly
34:26 getting back in touch
36:35 years of constant games
38:25 running out of steam
38:42 the abuser’s past
40:44 wiping the slate clean
41:32 deja vu
41:53 disturbing phone call 1
43:23 disturbing phone call 2
43:57 strolling down memory bomb site
45:22 a dose of reality
46:35 reconnecting fully with the past
48:10 chaos reemerges
50:38 going no contact
51:05 sifting through the mess
51:52 detachment
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references and reading
Perry, B.D. and Szalavitz, M. (1917) The boy who was raised as a dog — and other stories from a child psychiatrist’s notebook. Basic Books, New York.
Tolkien, J.R.R. (1954) The lord of the rings. Allen & Unwin, United Kingdom
Watts, A. (1999) Buddhism, the religion of no religion: the edited transcripts. Tuttle Publishing, Vermont.
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