How to tell if your cat wants a friend 🐱

Should you get your cat a friend? It's so difficult to know what to do. On one hand cats have a reputation of being solitary. On the other hand, we see groups of cats living happily, friends living with tons of cats, two cats that are BFFs and we badly want that for our cats.

Truth is, it depends on the cat. And on the cat's environment too. Social needs of cats vary massively. Some are super independent and live a truly solitary life. Some cats LOVE people but hate other cats. Some cats thrive with the company of other cats. So we need to think about the cats we have on our hands. Here are some things to consider.

- If you don’t have any cats yet and you are not sure whether to get one or two, get two kittens. It's much better than getting one now and changing your mind later on. Getting siblings or a bonded adult pair mean you won’t have to deal with difficult introductions can take a huge amount of time and effort to get right. Make sure the cats really are bonded and are showing behaviours like sleeping together, grooming and there is no negative behaviour or body language between them. Just because cats lived together previously, doesn’t mean they are actually bonded.

- If you have one kitten, I’d usually recommend getting another one. Kittens are hard work, they’re full of beans and not very territorial, so it’s the perfect time to introduce another. Introduction process is usually goes a lot smoother and this is what I did with Fig and Sparx. Just make sure you pick a good match and get ready for a lot of play - wrestling, pouncing, chasing, biting, kicking. It can look horrible, but as long as it’s quiet (no hissing, growling, yowling), there’s no claws out and both cats are up for playtime, it’s all good fun.

- If your cat was previously bonded with another cat, but that cat has passed away, don’t be too quick to replace them. It’s so difficult to see your cat grieving, and want to fill the hole left by their companion. It’s only natural to want to give them someone to love, groom, cuddle up with to ease their pain. But in reality, it very rarely goes this way (let me know in the comments if you’ve done this and how it went). Normally bonded pairs have spent years together, they’ve grown together and fully cemented their bond. Bringing in another adult cat usually brings stress and anxiety and potential conflict, so most of the time makes things worse. Kittens are often accepted more readily, but they are babies, they’re annoying, they just want to play and their behaviour can be really difficult for an adult cat. So this can be a recipe for disaster too. It’s not impossible, but in this case, don’t bring in a new cat just because you think it’ll help with the grieving process. Support them through it and only introduce a new cat when they’re ready and if it’s what you want, not just want you think your cat wants.

- If you have cats already and just fancy adding another to the mix, think carefully about how your cat will feel about it.
— Have they had good relationships in the past?
— Are they healthy and ready to accept another cat?
— Are relationships already tense? Or so good that you don’t want to upset the harmony?
— Have you got time and space for the introduction process and for them to create separate territories if they don’t get along?
— Pick a cat that compliments your existing cats and has a good chance of fitting in.

Sometimes you get no choice and just have to go with it. Don’t be afraid to find them a new home if it doesn’t work out.

Shall I get my cat a friend?
Does my cat want a friend?
Does my cat need a friend?

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