Father of the Bride Speech- use these "can't miss" jokes lol

All comments are welcome; there's nothing you could point out that I don't already know I did all wrong lol. Speeches TERRIFY me and I was so nervous I didn't even remember to put on my reading glasses. My hope, with this speech, was to get people laughing right off the bat, to put me at ease so I could get through it. I tried to pace it so the "humor" (this is questionable) parts were in between the parts that otherwise would have me ugly-face crying and blowing snot bubbles. The only thing the video missed (I think), was when they called me up and everyone was applauding, I think I said "thank you, please be seated", for a few chuckles right off the bat. Thank you to my sister for filming most of this; I had no idea she was filming, but looking back, I would highly recommend you have someone film your speech as this is a priceless moment in your life. Seeing my daughter's reactions is worth a ton to me. My hope is that there's one tiny thing in here that could help a father of the bride with his speech. I'd be honored if anyone used any of this content for their speech. I would otherwise never share such a personal thing, but maybe someone can watch this and it will embolden them, thinking "this guy's an idiot, I got this!" (fist bump)