Why INFJs Hide from the World

INFJ and INFP personality types often have a love/hate relationship with the outside world. Many INFJ and INFP personality types are hermits and have a high level of fear and social anxiety, but we also genuinely care about people and we crave deep levels of emotional intimacy with others.

INFJ and INFP personality types are naturally open receivers, which means we are extremely sensitive to energy. Many INFJ and INFP personality types also tend to forget this trait and we push ourselves to “get over it” every time we go out into the world. We say “yes” to attending social functions, when we really would be better served by saying “no.” However, because we have a feeling of obligation that comes with most relationships, we don’t let ourselves bow out of things nearly as much as we would prefer. We force ourselves to show up for events anyway, and then we feel exhausted and overwhelmed.

“Getting over it” is a form of us violating our own boundaries for self-care, and we usually do this because we feel a lot of shame that we are not like most other people. We force ourselves to push through social events and then we have to hide from people later because we need a massive amount of recovery time. The amount of recovery time we need after social events feels like a source of shame too.

Because of all this shame, INFJ and INFP personality types usually do not open up to other people about their extreme sensitivity to energy and how much recovery time we need after interacting with people or going to social events. Instead of communicating openly and honestly about our boundaries, we use the hiding strategy in most situations.


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