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EXPOSED: The 9-Step Cheat to Becoming Zimbabwe’s President — #7 Will Shock You

Summary
We reveal how power is actually won inside Zanu PF — the formal rules, backroom choreography, money, and military muscle. From cell meetings to the Politburo, co-option to constitutional hacks, learn the nine-step route aspirants use to climb to the top — plus the Top 10 contenders (including a Crown Prince). Analysis, satire, and realpolitik in one.

Timestamps
0:00 Hook — Why “constitutional” is now a feeling
0:28 The National People’s Congress & rubber-stamped decisions
1:40 The real competition: central committee & politburo
3:15 The 9-step ladder (cell → branch → district → provincial → central committee → politburo → cabinet → VP → president)
6:10 Major flaws: no meritocracy, military veto, factional warfare, corruption, ageing elites
8:05 Three loopholes: co-option, presidential appointment, constitutional amendments
9:20 Top 10 successors — ranked by probability
13:30 Final takeaways & implications for Zimbabwe

Key names mentioned

Emmerson Mnangagwa Jr
Tino Machakire
David Kuda
Dr. Jenfan Muswere
Donald (Fortune Charumbira’s son)
Campbell Mohadi Jr
John Paradza
Dr. Tatenda Ma
Tabetha Kanengoni Malinga
Vimbai Mahere (possible crossover)

Why watch
Understand how power moves in Zimbabwe beyond headlines. This episode exposes informal rules, incentives, and personalities shaping succession — useful for satire, policy insight, or regional political context.

Links & Sources

ZANU–PF constitution & party documents
2023–2025 reporting on Mnangagwa succession, family/business ties
Profiles and public records for people mentioned

Tags (use in upload)
Zimbabwe politics, Mnangagwa succession, Emmerson Mnangagwa Jr, Zanu PF power struggle, Zimbabwe presidency explained, Zimbabwe political analysis, Zimbabwe corruption, Zimbabwe youth leaders, Tino Machakire, David Kuda, Zanu PF central committee, Zimbabwe military influence, Zimbabwe opposition collapse, Chamisa Mahere Zim, Zimbabwe political satire, How to become president Zimbabwe, Zimbabwe dynastic politics, Zimbabwe political succession, Zimbabwe 2025 politics, Post-liberation generation Zimbabwe

Hashtags (use in description or pinned comment)
#ZimbabwePolitics #Mnangagwa #ZanuPF #SuccessionWatch #EmmersonJr #PoliticalAnalysis #ZimbabweYouth #DynastyInPolitics #ZimSatire #PowerAndPatronage

Call to action
Like, subscribe, and hit the bell for the next episode. Share with someone who thinks elections are the only path to power in Zimbabwe. Comment: who will rule next — dynasty, general, or outsider?

Credits
Host: Acie Lumumba
Writer: [Your name or “9pm in Zimbabwe” writers’ room]
Produced by: 9pm in Zimbabwe
Music & editing: [credits]

Disclaimer
Political commentary and satire for informational and entertainment purposes.