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Your Child Feels Like A Failure And Nothing You Say Helps.
When your child is stuck in harsh self talk, even the kindest reassurance can start to feel like it makes things worse rather than better.

In this episode, Amy Smythe and family therapist Denise Bevan explore what is really happening when children say things like “I’m no good” and why support and encouragement sometimes do not land. We look at how some children experience positive statements as untrue or boastful, while self criticism can feel more honest and safer.

Together, we explore when children begin to notice that thoughts are thoughts rather than facts, why this awareness can come and go, and how stress or pressure can make harsh beliefs feel fixed again. We also talk about the word yet and why it can open hope for some children while feeling dismissive or overwhelming for others.

This is not a conversation about fixing your child or convincing them they are wonderful. It is about attunement, slowing down, and noticing what creates space rather than pressure. If your child’s view of themselves feels persistent and painful, reaching out to a trusted professional can be a helpful next step. What we offer here are gentle wonderings, not solutions. The deep knowing of your child belongs to you.

Chapters

00:00 Welcome
00:42 It feels boastful to say good things about myself
01:10 When harshness feels like honesty
02:12 When children realise thoughts are not facts
03:03 Developmental changes and why they vary
06:28 When yet helps and when it creates pressure
08:00 Slowing down and validating
11:20 Holding both truths at once
13:53 Family narratives children absorb
17:47 A gentle noticing practice
19:03 Closing wellbeing wishes

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