My Thoughts on Eurovision Song Contest 2024: Episode 2

Yeah, time to enter the second semifinal. And what a show.

0:00 Intro (and finding patterns in things that aren't there)
0:46 Hosts gotta tan
2:37 Malta -- A replay of a replay
4:33 Albania -- Una besa para la buena suerte
5:32 Greece -- Дa Дa Дa Дa Дa
6:40 Switzerland -- I'm a mother******* StarLink
10:10 Czechia -- The real UK
11:59 Austria -- Rave? Isn't that a dance? (Oh, another dance...)
13:03 Denmark -- Fun fact: Saba is a Dutch-held Caribbean island
14:38 Armenia -- If eyes could send you to the Shadow Realm
15:44 (an interlude about unlucky entrants)
18:37 Latvia -- I don't know why; he looks oddly charming
19:56 San Marino -- The real Spain
27:14 Georgia -- I miss you, Stela Cole
28:08 Belgium -- Just. Pure. Soul. On. Fire.
29:14 Estonia -- ???
29:47 Israel -- Oh.
30:56 Norway -- Horehronie 2.0 (in a good way)
33:56 Netherlands -- If I don't nail the pronunciation the Dutch would lynch me
34:56 Twenty points
35:42 Break out the thumbtacks and string
36:57 Group of Death?
38:01 Allsång Wisconsin
39:40 Eurovision could-have-beens
40:11 But Sweden Needs Eurovision!
42:17 My Ranking
43:55 How are we going to get more contestants?
49:35 Qualifiers in Part 3