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Why It SUCKS to Be a Vampire in Medieval Times 🧛‍♂️🩸
Ever wondered what it's REALLY like to wake up in a coffin with no heartbeat and a hunger that won't quit? 😱
Welcome to 12th century Eastern Europe... where your biggest problem SHOULD have been impressing a girl. 💀✨
But then a stranger bites your neck in an alley, and suddenly you're allergic to LITERALLY EVERYTHING! 🔥☀️
🌅 Sunlight? You're BACON.
✝️ Crosses? Your face MELTS.
🌊 Rivers? Might as well be LAVA.
🧄 Garlic? Instant DEATH BREATH.
🚪 Doors? Need a formal INVITATION.
💔 Love? She runs SCREAMING to the church.
Sounds romantic, right? 😅
You spend 900 years running, hiding, starving, and watching everyone you ever loved turn to dust. 💨
Then archaeologists dig you up, stick you in a museum, and a stray sunbeam finishes what time couldn't. ☀️💀
Poof. Swept away by a janitor who doesn't even know your name. 🧹
Immortality wasn't a gift — it was a CHRONIC CONDITION with zero retirement plan! 📋❌
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⚠️ DISCLAIMER: This video is dramatized and exaggerated for entertainment purposes only! 🎭
While inspired by classic vampire mythology and folklore, characters and events are exaggerated for storytelling and comedic effect. Not intended to be taken seriously — just here to make you laugh, cringe, and be VERY grateful you weren't turned in a dark alley! 😂🙏
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👉 Hit that notification bell so you never miss another immortal nightmare! 🔔✨

Chapters:
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00:00 - Reborn in the Wrong Way
02:52 - The Learning Curve
06:54 - 150 Years of Progress
10:21 - Love, Screams, and Running
13:41 - Hunted Across Centuries
17:32 - Dust to Dust