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Why Extreme Makeover: Home Edition Fell Off

Picture this: you’re standing in front of your brand-new dream house, the kind HGTV junkies would sell a kidney for. The cameras have gone home, the cheering neighbors are back to their normal lives, and the giant bus isn’t there to block the cracks anymore. And that’s when reality hits. The bills triple because someone thought an Olympic-sized pool was a human right. The drywall is already splitting like it’s in a Marvel multiverse. And your kids are sleeping in a bedroom themed entirely around cup stacking—because apparently your fleeting childhood hobby was enough to justify a $300,000 construction budget. This wasn’t a makeover. It was a demolition derby on people’s lives, broadcast every Sunday at 8PM.

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition sold itself as the heartwarming cure for poverty, trauma, and just general sadness. A family has mold in the basement? Boom—destroy the whole house Monster Jam style. Dad loses his job? Don’t worry, Ty Pennington is here to scream “GOOD MORNING” into a megaphone like the Kool-Aid Man of capitalism. And when the dust cleared, ABC would present America with the ultimate fantasy: that drywall and granite countertops could fix the crushing despair of late-stage capitalism.

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