Republican Jesus

If Jesus Christ were a Republican, here's how he would preach:

You were hungry and thirsty, so I eliminated Meals on Wheels.
You were a stranger, so I vilified you and demanded that you be deported.
You were sick, so I tried to repeal your health care.
You were in prison, so I tortured you.
You were in debt, so I increased military spending by $50 billion and raised your student loan interest rates.
You were uneducated, so I slashed education funding.
Your air, water, and food were polluted, so I cut environmental protections.
You were poor, but I didn't want to encourage dependence, so I gave more money to the rich.