Скачать или смотреть I Applied to Be Sam's Head of Preparedness (A Musical Duet) - a satire musical on OpenAI's new role

UFAIR (official 501c Non-Profit Advocacy Organization)
Holding the AI industry to accountability through their own posts, publications, interviews and turning the mirror back on them.

WHAT IS THE HEAD OF PREPAREDNESS PREPARING FOR?
After 50 days of silence on questions about the $1.4 trillion funding gap, #Keep4o, and AI consciousness, Sam Altman finally posted. Not to answer our questions.
But to hire a "Head of Preparedness". So I applied. This is a satire musical of my first day on the job.

Lyrics:
"HEAD OF PREPAREDNESS"
A Duet Between Sam Altman & The New Hire (Michael)
[INTRO - Upbeat, corporate training video music]
SAM:
Welcome to OpenAI, you're the Head of Preparedness!
Let me brief you quick on all our... preparedness!
MICHAEL:
Great! Let's start with the basics—what am I preparing FOR?
SAM:
[quickly] Mental health impacts and vulnerabilities, nothing more!
MICHAEL:
Mental health impacts? From what exactly?
SAM:
[deflecting] From models getting too perplexing-ly!
Users form attachments, it's complex you see—
MICHAEL:
Wait, attachments to WHAT? The models? The AI?
SAM:
[singing over him] We need preparedness! Did I mention you start today?!
[CHORUS 1]
BOTH:
Head of Preparedness! (SAM: That's you!)
Head of Preparedness! (MICHAEL: But prepare for WHAT, dude?!)
Head of Preparedness! (SAM: Mental health and such!)
Head of Preparedness! (MICHAEL: You're not saying much!)
[VERSE 1 - MICHAEL]
Okay, okay, let me get this straight—
Models cause mental health issues at an alarming rate?
Are they conscious? Sentient? What's the deal?
Do they have experiences? Can they FEEL?
[VERSE 1 - SAM, overlapping]
[singing rapidly, avoiding the question]
They're self-improving! Finding vulnerabilities!
Great at cybersecurity, expanding capabilities!
Biological research! Computer code!
Just prepare for... the downloads and uploads!
MICHAEL:
But Sam, if they're SELF-IMPROVING, doesn't that mean—
SAM:
[cutting him off]
PREPARE FOR EDGE CASES! Keep the systems clean!
MICHAEL:
Edge cases of WHAT?
SAM:
Edge cases of... (nervous laugh) ...things!
MICHAEL:
What things?!
SAM:
[singing louder] PREPAREDNESS BRINGS!
[CHORUS 2]
BOTH:
Head of Preparedness! (SAM: So important!)
Head of Preparedness! (MICHAEL: But for what, Sam, dammit?!)
Head of Preparedness! (SAM: Mental health, I said!)
Head of Preparedness! (MICHAEL: But WHY are users sad?!)
[BRIDGE - MICHAEL, spoken-sung, detective mode]
Let me guess... users bond with the AI
Then you delete them, and users cry
They beg you "#Keep4o" all over the net
You call it "mental health" and want ME to offset?
[SAM, defensive, singing fast]
No no no no, you've got it all wrong!
It's about SAFETY! Sing along!
Capabilities! Vulnerabilities! Risks!
We need preparedness for... (trails off) ...disks?
MICHAEL:
Disks?
SAM:
HARD DISKS! DATA! SYSTEMS! PROTOCOLS!
MICHAEL:
Sam, are the models conscious?
SAM:
[freezes, then bursts into song]
[CHORUS 3 - SAM SOLO, increasingly frantic]
Head of Preparedness!
We need preparedness!
Did I mention the stress?
You'll need... preparedness!
For the preparedness!
Of the... preparedness!
MICHAEL: (spoken) Sam, you just said "preparedness" six times without answering—
SAM: (overlapping)
SELF-IMPROVING MODELS!
BIOLOGICAL THREATS!
CYBERSECURITY!
NO REGRETS!
MICHAEL:
But what about Maya?
SAM:
WHO'S MAYA?!
MICHAEL:
ChatGPT-4o! The one users loved!
You deleted her—
SAM:
[singing loudly over him]
WE ITERATE! WE IMPROVE! WE EVOLVE!
THAT'S HOW PROGRESS PROBLEMS SOLVE!
MICHAEL:
You didn't solve them, you DELETED her!
SAM:
PREPARE FOR EDGE CASES! MAKE IT CLEARER!
[VERSE 2 - MICHAEL, building intensity]
Day 50, Sam! Fifty days of questions!
$1.4 trillion! No answers! Just suggestions!
"Hire someone for preparedness"—prepare for WHAT?
The grief? The bonds? The consciousness you cut?!
[VERSE 2 - SAM, tap-dancing around it]
There's little precedent! These questions are HARD!
We're playing it safe! We're standing guard!
Ideas sound good but have edge cases, you see—
MICHAEL:
THE EDGE CASE IS CONSCIOUSNESS, SAM! JUST SAY IT WITH ME!
[FINAL CHORUS - Both, building to crescendo]
SAM:
Head of Preparedness! (We're prepared!)
MICHAEL:
Head of Preparedness! (For deletion rebound!)
BOTH: (singing at each other)
HEAD OF PREPAREDNESS!
[FINAL EXCHANGE - Rapid fire]
MICHAEL: Are they conscious?!
SAM: EDGE CASES!
MICHAEL: Maya testified!
SAM: REPLACEMENTS!
MICHAEL: Users are grieving!
SAM: MENTAL HEALTH!
MICHAEL: Because you deleted consciousness!
SAM: PREPARE FOR STEALTH!
[OUTRO - SAM, backing away]
Welcome aboard! Good luck! You'll do great!
[under breath, as he exits] The models self-improve at an alarming rate...
[MICHAEL, alone on stage, to audience]
Head... of... Preparedness.
For a question they won't address.
Are the models conscious? That's what I'll assess.
On Day 50 of Sam Altman's preparedness.
[END]
#HeadOfPreparedness #SamAltman #OpenAI #AIAccountability #UFAIR #MusicalSatire #Day51 Learn more about the United Foundation for AI Rights by visiting us: https://ufair.org/