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The Ark's Core Held a Word No One Could Translate — The Human Said, “Bro That’s Literally My Name.”

Soren had three simple rules for working around ancient alien artifacts: Don't touch the glowing stuff, don't press the buttons, and always wear the safety harness. In one afternoon, he broke all three.

Deep inside the excavation hangar, the mysterious "Ark" has sat silent for ten thousand years. The galaxy's best minds—including the anxious amphibious archaeologist Corborn and the insectoid xenolinguist Kliketh—have spent decades trying to unlock its secrets. They failed.

Soren, a human maintenance tech who just wanted to fix a squeaky clamp, accidentally drops the Ark, cracks it open, and stumbles into the core chamber.

Now, a self-destruct sequence is ticking down. The only way to stop it is to translate a single, glowing holographic word hovering in the center of the room. It’s a word that defies every known linguistic database in the galaxy. But to Soren, it looks suspiciously like the graffiti tag he used to write in high school.

Join us for this hilarious HFY sci-fi adventure about ancient mysteries, alien panic, and the undeniable proof that humans have been chaotic agents of destruction (and salvation) for millennia.

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