Mike Godwin - Opening Monologue [Alfred's Theme REMIX] [Prod. Eminem] (The Oligarch Variety Hour)

[Intro]

Hey, how's everybody doing tonight? Could be better, right? Could be better...? Could be better if all these billionaires stopped hoarding all the wealth! Ah! It's great to be back! Well, first and foremost, I'd like to welcome everybody to the Oligarch Variety Hour, where one common man's grievances are aired as if he represents all of the lower 99% and a fat white guy pretends he has all the answers while ignoring his privilege long enough to appropriate black culture and music! Lot of big things happening! We voted out a loud racist with a bad hairpiece for a quieter racist with a much better hairpiece if I do say so myself. That's not to say that Joe isn't miles better, but we're still lightyears away from where we need to be. Uh, a few rapists are getting put away, emphasis on a FEW as many still walk free, often without a thorough investigation. Sounds like my ex-wife! Finally, as wealth inequality grows, it seems more and more like the common man's only will is to defend the people who make 50 times more than they could ever dream of while only working at most a quarter as hard. I'd say I'm better, but the fat cat gotta eat, baby! Ah, what else is in the news? Oh, did you hear about this? Well, as it turns out...

[Verse]

Y'all dudes really full of it I'm guessing y'all are new to this, stupid kids gon lose your shit slick without the lubricant. Cheesier than Easy Mac seems to me your self esteem's intact, let me break it make it fat like a Markie Dee rap. I'm on 3rd Bass these absurd takes make me wanna go home, my sloppy seconds got a message from Quavo's phone. Didn't think much of it the fuck does it, matter I splattered on her gut fucking. Jetted the second I hit it didn't mean much my second phone's buzzing, I'm plugging Coke helped me write this song cousin. Busted again with her friend made amends played pretend and then busted in her head and said thanks, I appreciate it. This is Genius annotated laminated maybe faded, man on the moon like Scott gon rule like Ja. Next a festival for vegetables where I address the Oh so perplexing flow. Oh dear no fear I'm not afraid, I say as I fillet your face with Renee's razor blade. Ay ion mean to be rude, I'm just tryna Pop Shit like Reason and Q. Y'all are thieves of the truth, your whole crew just convened the Drew Brees interview. I'll stand while I disrespect you, is that better? The go getter you're a covid spreader hoes better be mad, it's a sad state of affairs, where the heels want change and all the faces are heirs. Y'all just standing to stare. Abandoned all care ye who enters here. The sum of all fears put the gun to your peers, cheers. Weird beard it appears I'm mad anxious, but all my Distant Relatives know sabali means patience. Face it put one foot in front of the other, walk out the door and make Em regret the Rolling Stone cover. Resent intelligence it's extra Orwellian, Atlas Shrugged and made sure common sense fell again. Let it be the legacy of empathy's conceited, the cheap seats concede defeat but the reaper's not treated. Hmm what a clue about what to do, what's next kids guess what it's up to you. Skullfuck the many for the few, or make sure the many have food ooh. What a choice please use your voice, you can be dumb like Freddie Gibbs, Nas, and Royce. Or you can be aware it's fair to hit a snare, but it's best to not make Marco lift the chair.


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