The Unwise Guys | We Won't Finish This Podcast #17

We Won't Finish This Podcast is a comedy writers room show where we pitch movies to each other that we'll never make. A NEW and ORIGINAL movie each episode!

In this episode, Zeebz pitches a Las Vegas crime family comedy. Vinnie, Lewis, and Walter pull off a wild heist at a Magic: The Gathering tournament, only to find themselves in a slip-and-fall scam that targets the Capri Sun Casino and Resort. As the plan unfolds, it leads to a courtroom showdown where Dom Prosciutto, the bumbling Prosciutto family member, makes a shocking move that could change everything. The episode ends with an unexpected twist, as Dom’s rise to power comes with unforeseen consequences. Will Dom finally gain the respect he's always craved, or will his family’s legacy crumble under the weight of their misadventures? This episode is packed with slapstick humor, ridiculous heists, and a courtroom finale you won’t want to miss.

Timeline Summary:

[0:00] - Introduction: The gang discusses a rare Magic: The Gathering card and its unexpected buyer.
[1:02] - Episode Kickoff: Zeebz introduces the movie pitch—a comedy about three criminals hiding out in Las Vegas.
[4:00] - Arriving in Vegas: The criminals arrive at the Capri Sun Casino and Resort, only to find that nothing goes smoothly.
[6:13] - Meeting Mr. Prosciutto: A mysterious, eccentric crime boss assigns them an unusual first task—fetching a birthday cake from Walmart.
[11:06] - The Real Job: The criminals anxiously await further instructions while discovering more about the notorious Prosciutto family.
[15:10] - Getting Deeper: Vinnie, Lewis, and Walter continue to uncover more about the Prosciutto family’s shady operations.
[17:16] - A Simple Task Goes Wrong: Walter ends up in a mess after a botched cake return, leading to a confrontation with an aggressive loss prevention officer.
[21:22] - Down and Out: Vinnie and Lewis scramble to raise money to bail Walter out of jail, only to be given another absurdly small-time scam by Dom Prosciutto.
[26:59] - Reality Sets In: After getting kicked out of their hotel, Vinnie and Lewis move into a new “free” house and start preparing for the big card game heist.
[30:08] - A Laughable Breakthrough: Dom’s tough exterior begins to crumble as he reveals more about his struggles, and Vinnie and Lewis decide the card game will be their last chance to make it big.
[45:03] - The Big Heist: The trio pulls off a chaotic robbery at a Magic: The Gathering tournament, only to realize that an old foe has spotted them.
[51:05] - The Master Plan: Dom and the gang devise an elaborate slip-and-fall scam targeting the Capri Sun Casino, leading to a ridiculous series of events.
[57:00] - Courtroom Chaos: Dom Prosciutto takes a stand in court, making a shocking offer that could either redeem his reputation or doom his family’s legacy.
[1:00:11] - The Final Twist: Dom’s father refuses to reconcile, leading to Dom becoming the new owner of the Capri Sun Casino. The episode ends with several possible endings, including Dom’s tragic demise or his continued success despite his incompetence.

Links & Resources:

Mentioned: Magic: The Gathering, The Lord of the Rings crossover

Referenced Locations: Capri Sun Casino and Resort (fictional), Walmart, Comcast

Closing Remarks: If you enjoyed this episode and our chaotic Las Vegas caper, don’t forget to rate, follow, and share the podcast. We appreciate your support and look forward to bringing you more wild movie pitches that we’ll probably never make!