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Here’s how I became the King Of Dates with a Cow.

So this cow locks eyes with me, and I swear I hear it moo “Date?”

Was she asking me out, or was she just hungry?

What an UDDERLY awkward test.

I offered her these dates…

And then she tries to eat the box…
probably thinking, “Cardboard has GOT to be better than this nonsense.”

Anyway, we finally power through the dates, and the box…and it starts raining.

I find shelter, but guess who shows up like she’s auditioning for a rom-com? That’s right—my new cow stalker.
Then she tries to lay this giant cow lick right on my face…like she thought we were on a date date.

Then we somehow end up watching a cremation ceremony. Picture it: me, the cow, and our third wheel.
But here’s the thing: death doesn’t have to be scary grim reaper situation…it’s man’s best friend (monkey vs dog)— a renewer, a great teacher, and life’s final frontier.

Death melts everything back into spirit goo, to prepare us for our next gig - like a cosmic recycling program!

I turn to the cow, to see if she finds this perspective “MOO”-ving. But she’s like, “Dude, I’m just here for the snacks.”