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#Grayromantic
#GrayromanticOrientation
First, let's get one thing straight: Greyromantic is a romantic orientation, meaning it describes someone’s romantic interests and patterns—not their gender or sexual orientation. It's used to identify who a person is (or isn't) interested in dating and/or falling in love with.
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Knowing this, greyromantic specifically describes someone who rarely feels a romantic attraction to someone, explains Tatyana Dyachenko a sex therapist at Peaches and Screams.
Now don't get me wrong, it’s not that they don’t feel a romantic attraction to anyone, but it’s rare when they do. (Kind of like a grey area...get it?) Someone who identifies this way may only experience romantic attraction a couple of times throughout their life.
The Biggest Difference Between Greyromantic, Alloromantic, and Aromantic
There are three terms on the romantic orientation spectrum you should be familiar with: alloromantic, greyromantic, and aromantic. Let me explain the differences.
To start, society assumes that everyone falls in love multiple times throughout their lives, but some people just don’t. That's what it means to be aromantic. Someone who identifies as aromantic will not feel any type of romantic connection with anyone. Oftentimes they will stay single. And though they can sometimes have partners, they just won't be in love with them.
On the other end of the spectrum is the term "alloromantic." This is a privileged identity, in that someone who is alloromantic “can experience romantic feelings with someone from the opposite gender, the same gender, of two genders, or of various genders,” says Sophie Mona Pagès, a relationship expert and the founder of LVRSNFRNDS who previously told Cosmopolitan.com​. You might know a lot of people who are this way—you might even be one of them! But it’s important to remember that not everyone shares the same experiences and attraction, and that's okay.
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Then, there's greyromantic, which kind of just falls in the middle of these two. A greyromantic individual will experience romantic attraction more often than someone who is aromantic, but less than someone who is alloromantic.
Related Terms:
Alloromantic
Aromantic
What Identifying as Greyromantic Looks Like
Someone who identifies as a greyromantic has no physical cues that will tell people around them that they identify as such. In fact, very rarely can we know someone’s sexual orientation, gender, or romantic identity by appearances only.
However, you might pick up some cues from their love life. Someone who is greyromantic might barely have any romantic partners or can only tell you that they’ve only loved one person. And when they do fall for someone, it’s under very specific circumstances, so don’t expect any “love at first sight” type of thing.
“Additionally, they might be romantically attracted to someone, but they’ll have no interest in starting a relationship,” says clinical sexologist Katie Lasson. “They might even feel alienated from romance.”
Signs that You Might Be Greyromantic
Again, there’s no specific rule book that tells you the signs that you might be greyromantic, but, according to Dyachenko, there are a few things that separate greyromantics from aromantics and alloromantics.
Here are a few signs:
You hardly ever experience romantic attraction, but very occasionally might. Pretty self-explanatory, but people who identify as greyromantic have rarely been able to connect with someone on a deeper level, though it has definitely happened (or could happen). Greyromantics also fall in love during specific circumstances.
You don’t desire having a relationship, even with the one person you’re attracted to.
#greyromantic and #aromantic.
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