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cw trauma, dprssion, intrusiv thoughts

im entring a period of my trauma wher im finally not holding the bad thoughts and dprssion in any mor and unfortunatly this means that i feel dprssd and creating things is much much hardr. a lot of times im just in bed at 3 am waiting to go to sleep and like it isnt fun!! but i gnuinly lov creating and its hard not to build whn i finally feel the need to exprss myslf and not to hide. this lvl was made in the times my insomnia was rly brutal while ee was b-ing verified (i didnt hav accss to my account so i made this almost entirely on phone). its unpolishd in a way that i like so i thought i would upload it for u all

lvls recntly hav bn way mor exprssiv and i feel like a "stream of consciousnss" lvl is a concept i rly wanna c dun mor recntly. iv workd on these types of lvls in the past also but non of them r rleasd as they r very prsonal. this 1 flt mor intrpretiv so i flt confidnt in rleasing it. but also its weird bc i hav a dsign background that othr creators dont so i feel like i cant b exprssiv with my work evn if this is litrally my thoughts in the prsnt momnt. i grew up in a community wher dsign was for dsign's sake and that philosophy is still in me somwher evn if i wanna excise it out. but its also a unique part of me and i feel like a low strss lvl made for catharsis shouldnt b hld up to the weird standards i hav. i make these lvls to escape from them so rleasing this is good for me. its just hard

ther's meaning to this on a lvl that i dont undrstand and ur allowd to intrpret this howevr u want. but i think thats good. its hard to judge lvls whn evn u dont know their meaning.

anyways im going to rleas a cc video whn im finishd class/exams but im also just extremely out of enrgy for now. expect som videos soon as a lot of projects r not in my hands and i hope u enjoyd this somhow

id: 89533681
difficulty: 5-6 stars