Wife Cheating Story ...

My (38 male) wife (34 female) cheated on me with the man who groomed her. How do I forgive her ?

Wife Cheating Story ...#reddit #subwaysurfers

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My (38 male) wife (34 female) cheated on me with the man who groomed her. How do I forgive her ?
Sorry this is going to be so long, I just want to get as many details in as possible for some real advice.
A little backstory, my wife had a significant handful of traumas as a kid. Her dad was physically and verbally abusive and almost killed her mom in front if her, she was left to raise herself and her younger brother because her mom was an alcoholic, she had undiagnosed bipolar disorder starting at 13, was raped at 14, and got pregnant and had an abortion at 16. After that she kinda spiraled and was drinking a lot and sleeping around a lot. That's when she met the man we'll call John. He was 30 when she was 16. He introduced her to to his fucked up version of BDSM which was basically just beating her whenever he felt like it. She thought she was in love with him and followed him blindly for years. I guess he did help her to quit and graduate HS but I'm assuming it was through fear ( she hasn't shared how he "helped" ). It took her going to therapy when she was 23 for her trauma with her dad to realize John was a groomer and another year or two until she finally cut him off completely.
We met when she was 26, married two years later. We bought a house right away and have two kids male 4 and female 2. She hasn't shared some about her relationship with John before we got married, but more has come up this month that I didn't know after she asked me to go to therapy with her so she could tell me she cheated on me with John ( therapy now started maybe 8 months ago because she's had bad PPD since F2 was born ).
So the story is she ran into him while grabbing drinks at a bar with a friend. They didn't hook up then, but started talking occasionally. A couple weeks later they met up for drinks at this catch-all spot ( for lack of a better term) in a downtown area where my wife usually goes to small concerts. It's a parking structure/ concert hall/ restaurants bar/ hotel kind of deal. Had a couple of drinks, he invited her up to his room, and you can fill in the rest. This happened in February. She told her therapist after it happened and they've been working on cutting whatever emotional ties she has left. He's blocked now but she saved all their messages at her therapist suggestion. She did a full STD panel last month and came back clean.
She's taken all the right steps... I read all the messages even though I didn't want to. Got tested myself even though she was fine. She offered to set up some family tracking app thing so I know where she is, but I feel like if I need that then my marriage is over. I've been involved with her therapy twice now.
But... I feel broken. I admit I've gotten snippy with her but instead of calling me out like she normally would, she just apologizes. It feels like she thinks twice about everything she says now. We don't joke with each other. Caring for the kids as partners feels mechanical. Is this how life will be now if we stay together? I don't want to break up our family. Is it possible to forgive someone for cheating? Do I need to be more understanding because of the previous relationship or should I be more worried about the future?
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