How Borderline Sees YOU (Intimate Partner)

Borderline's POV (point of view) is the outcome of her internal dynamics, especially the compulsive need to approach and then avoid you.

Here is how she sees you:

APPROACH

You are my world and life
You will save me from myself and from others
Everything is meaningless without you
You are a stable rock
You stabilize my moods and regulate my emotions, with you I feel safe and whole (completed)
I will give my life for you (self-sacrificial)
I am bad and evil (bad object) but with you I feel good and worthy because you accept and love me as I am

AVOIDANCE

I am overwhelmed by pain owing to your rejection and abandonment (often projected and anticipated): you are not protective, you don’t care, you found someone else to take my place, You are disloyal, You are looking for alternatives
Dissociation (amnesia, auto-pilot depersonalization, derealization)
I have to do something, anything to hurt you and then regain your love
You want me dead, shackled, only yours, to disappear into you
You have changed, You blame-shift, I am the victim
You guilt-trip
You are not self-aware: You are self-destructive and you want to drag me with you
You are just after my sex, looks
Paranoid ideation, persecutory object: You lie, deceive, and cheat, You are out to get me, You entrapped me, You never mean what you say, You gaslight me, You hate me while I love you self-sacrificially, You humiliate me and shame me, you are malicious

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