Love can feel confusing, especially when shame and fear are at play. Dr. Fox explains how shame keeps us from being our true selves, preventing us from connecting with others. He explores examples like the “chaser” who seeks love to feel whole and the “performer” who hides behind a façade. The video also covers the push-pull dynamic in relationships and offers three steps to help you build a stronger sense of self, leading to healthier, more fulfilling connections with others.
00:00 – Why Love Feels So Complicated
00:50 – What Shame Really Is
01:42 – Fear of Rejection in Relationships
02:39 – Fear of Losing Yourself
03:39 – “I’m Not Enough” and Shame
04:22 – The Performer: Hiding Insecurity
05:01 – The Chaser: Needing Love to Feel Whole
06:12 – Emma: Always Chasing Reassurance
07:13 – Love as a Tug-of-War
08:42 – Chaser vs. Performer Dynamic
09:12 – Rejection Sensitivity and Triggers
10:02 – Kay: Always Feeling Like It’s a Breakup
11:24 – Creating Chaos to Feel Loved
12:23 – Do You Love Them or Need Them?
13:06 – Step 1: Self-Validation
15:09 – Step 2: Get Close Without Losing Yourself
16:16 – Step 3: Find Worth Without Being Needed
17:42 – Final Thoughts and Self-Worth
𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐃𝐫. 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐥 𝐉. 𝐅𝐨𝐱 📚
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award-winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 20 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐃𝐫. 𝐅𝐨𝐱’𝐬 𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 🎓
BPD Course: Learn more at www.bpdcourse.com
𝐃𝐫. 𝐅𝐨𝐱’𝐬 𝐏𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 📘
Dr. Fox has published several articles and books in the areas of personality disorders, emotional intelligence, and treatment strategies. Below are some of his key works:
▶ BPD Guided Journal: Your Space to Release Intense Emotions, Nurture Self-Compassion, and Take Charge of Borderline Personality Disorder.
Available at:
https://shorturl.at/Ta5Dj
▶ The BPD Card Deck: 50 Ways to Balance Emotions and Live Well with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Available at:
www.shorturl.at/jBHJV
▶ Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance.
Available at:
https://rb.gy/hdyqyy
▶ Antisocial, Narcissistic, and Borderline Personality Disorders: A New Conceptualization of Development, Reinforcement, Expression, and Treatment.
Available at:
https://tinyurl.com/2anv8dww
▶ The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD.
Available at:
https://goo.gl/LQEgy1
▶ Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner).
Available at:
https://goo.gl/BLRkFy
▶ Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Silver Award Winner).
Available at:
https://goo.gl/sZYhym
𝐃𝐫. 𝐅𝐨𝐱'𝐬 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐞 💼
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐃𝐫. 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐥 𝐅𝐨𝐱 🌍
👉 YouTube: / @drdanielfox
👉 Website: http://www.drdfox.com/
👉 Blog: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl...
👉 Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
👉 Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
👉 LinkedIn: / drdfox
👉 Instagram: / drdfox
👉 Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
Thank you for watching: Love, Shame & Fear : Why You Push People Away and How to Build Better Relationships | Dr. Daniel Fox
#loveandfear #shamehealing #intimacystruggles #selfgrowth #relationshipstruggles #bpdhealing #mentalhealthmatters #buildingrelationships #selfacceptance #overcomingfear
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