Lost Yourself in a Toxic Relationship?

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In a toxic relationship, losing your identity often happens gradually, without you even realizing it. You start by compromising small things, like your preferences or boundaries, in order to keep the peace or to please your partner. Over time, these compromises pile up, and suddenly, you’re asking yourself, “Is my relationship toxic?” You’ve given so much of yourself away that you no longer recognize who you are. Your thoughts, emotions, and even your decisions revolve around someone else, leaving little room for your own needs and desires. This gradual erosion of self is a hallmark of toxic dynamics, and it’s why losing yourself in a relationship feels so confusing and overwhelming—you didn’t even see it happening.

For many, the truth is they never had a strong sense of identity to begin with, making it easier to fall into these unhealthy patterns. If you’ve always felt a little lost, like a shell of a person, you may have relied on your relationship to give you purpose or validation. When you’re constantly seeking approval from someone else or molding yourself to fit their expectations, it becomes nearly impossible to figure out who you really are. The result? Losing your identity in a relationship and feeling like a stranger in your own life. This is a painful reality, but recognizing it is the first step in reclaiming yourself and answering the question, “Is my relationship healthy?”

To start picking up the pieces and finding yourself again, you need to intentionally break toxic relationship patterns. Start by focusing on what makes you feel grounded and fulfilled, independent of anyone else. Ask yourself, “What do I enjoy? What makes me feel alive?” Reconnecting with your passions, hobbies, and values is key to rebuilding your sense of self. Surround yourself with supportive friends, take time for self-reflection, and slowly learn to trust your own voice again. The journey of how to get myself back may be long, but with every step, you’re reclaiming your power and discovering who you are, often for the first time.


In my years as a self love coach, I’ve guided my clients from every possible heartbreaking scenario and breakup, and given them the tools they need to heal their trauma and learn the discipline of self love, so they can embody their most true, authentic and confident self!

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   • Lost Yourself in a Toxic Relationship?  

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