From Ardee to Dundalk | Chapter 5 Part 1

Excerpt from "Modern Legend."
Unlike Fedelm, Mebd was fully an adult and had no problem using her body to get what she wanted. From the Cattle Raid story, Laine understood that Medb would sell her daughter to any warrior willing to fight Cuchulain. She’d already got two men to switch sides as both Fergus and Cuchulain’s brother Ferdiad, were once Ulstermen but now fought on Medb’s side—the side of Connacht.
Medb’s jaw shifted visibly as she saw the A-Home corps fall in line in front of her through the same gap in the wall Laine had entered, giving Aillil and his army a head start. Medb and Aillil were the two parts of a family at war, a home divided. Laine wondered if it came down to it, would they join forces as a means of survival? Or would pride be the death of them? Speaking of pride, Mórrígan was Laine’s pride. Morrigan was the Irish goddess associated with war and death in Celtic mythology. She could shapeshift into different animals and from a young woman to an old woman. The Morrigan is often described as a trio of individuals, all sisters, called “the three Morrigna.” Laine thought of the three as different aspects of herself.
When the army had passed and Laine finally got to the gate, Fedelm pointed her to the next place to go, which was Morrigan’s cottage. Morrigan was an extension of Laine, she knew but was separate from her also. And Laine wondered why Evelyn would be pointing her in the direction of her lower self.
“The cow,” Fedelm said, pointing.
Just as she turned the post where Fedelm stood, Laine saw that the child looked at her. Her Pixie eyes brightened and she smiled. When no one was looking a cottage emerged that Laine had never seen before. “The cow is at Mórrígan’s cottage,” Fedelm said.
“What cow?” Laine asked. And then her heart beat more quickly. Donn. Donn. Donn. She felt so exhausted she could cry, but she told herself to stop her whining there wasn’t time. This time was not for thinking but for hard work. For doing. She closed her eyes and when she did she saw the brown cow Mertes had been holding by the reins in ancient Rome before Laine blinked and was falling down the tree of life into Ireland. Now he was standing in front of a stone cabin. He represented all her dreamscometrue. When she opened her eyes again and looked behind her, Fedelm was pointing with that expression on her face of a sarcastic teen. Like Laine was a stupid adult but cute for trying. “Okay thanks,” Laine said, waving back to Evelyn. Laine must have swerved wrong, not used to the war cry and the armies pivoting in every direction, let alone riding a horse. It was like she had been overly confident riding a horse for the first time and her beginner’s luck had run out.
“See, I told you, you’ll never be a warrior,” Medb said, spitting on the dirt next to Laine as she passed. Laine was taken off guard by how she wasn’t on the horse anymore but had fallen off. Like times she had fainted after standing up too fast. It was a blur to the top of the ridge and then on a downward decline. She fell, and there was a sharp pain in her ankle. Laine rolled her ankle around. There was this gash out of one of her fingers like when she cut herself with the knife while working at her new food service job. It seemed to be taking forever to heal. The last remaining youth on horseback passed her. “Eww, you’re crusty,” Carlos said. Carlos said it in his high voice. He was clean and particular about his laundry soap, though he was sporty and portrayed a manly man. And she was left wondering what crusty meant.
“Your voice is too quiet, you’ll never make a great leader,” Houston said.
“I can speak up,” Laine said. “I can learn. I’ll take that as a compliment. I guess that means I have the capacity for great transformation.”
“How come you’re always so enthusiastic?” Little Miss asked. Carlos called Robert’s sister, Little Miss, but her name was also Laine. “It’s kind of annoying, my dude,” Little Miss said.
Laine felt like when she got trapped on the wrong side of the rope tow while snowboarding as a kid, and could not cross over without being skied over. All the kids looked down and laughed at her. It was safe to say she spent some time licking her wounds. Sometimes a wound takes a while to heal, and sometimes you just have to cry. Ra, the Egyptian Sun God, supposedly formed the bee from his falling tears. He granted the bee the task of relaying sacred messages, relaying wisdom from the Divine to humans. Since Bee was born from sun’s tears and since he was a messenger of the Divine, intoning key messages, Laine thought this must be a good reason to let them fall once and a while.
Tears are a road that takes you somewhere. Tears lift your body off the ground. Carrying you downslope to someplace better.