Ep. 75 - Five Things Dad's Do Pt. 1: Do Better!

The episode "Ep.75 - 5 Things Dad's Do Pt.1" of the "Empowering Choices" podcast dives into the nuanced dynamics between fathers and sons, particularly how certain paternal behaviors can inadvertently distance fathers from their sons. Hosts Joshua, Lucas, and Eric, who are licensed professional counselors, embark on a mini-series that explores common paternal missteps.

The first episode of the series kicks off with a discussion on the expectations fathers place on their sons to "do better." This concept, deeply embedded in cultural narratives, often comes with pressures that can push sons away rather than foster closer bonds. Erik explains, "It's part of our country's fabric and history... You want your kids to have the opportunity to do better than what you did." However, they discuss how this pressure can be ambiguous and overwhelming for children, leading to confusion and strained relationships.

Joshua shares a personal anecdote to illustrate how the pressure to excel can be misinterpreted by children: "I heard that a lot, but then one of my questions or things as a kid I think like, what does that mean? What does 'better' mean? Better financially, do better and enjoy life more, do better in a career I want to do versus something...?"

The hosts then discuss the story of Andre Agassi as a poignant example of when pushing a child based on parental expectations can backfire. Agassi, despite reaching the pinnacle of tennis, admitted to hating the sport, a sentiment driven by his father's relentless pressure. Erik reflects on this, noting, "He was a driving force for me to be the tennis player that I became. And it was always he wanted better for me type thing."

The conversation shifts to finding a balance between supporting a child's natural interests and avoiding overbearing expectations. They argue that while some level of parental encouragement is necessary, it should not overshadow a child's personal desires and motivations. Lucas shares, "If they want to work and work and work to achieve, they will become great. And then you can support that without grinding them into the dust."

Finally, the hosts conclude by emphasizing the importance of allowing children to explore their interests organically, suggesting that parents should facilitate but not dictate their child’s pathways to success. Joshua encapsulates this sentiment by encouraging listeners to tune in to the rest of the series for more insights on nurturing healthier father-son relationships.