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Cynic Clinic
Words and Music by John Fett, Chris Kearney, Jamie Kearney, Keith Lancaster, Gary Williams, Mark Townsend and Kirk Eberhard

Who do you want to barbeque today?
Someone who doesn't quite see things our way
You fetch the wood
I'll spread the fire
Stand back and watch that sucker perspire
For me to play judge seems really odd
But I don't have a problem with helping out God
It's my special gift to criticize
I can't help it
God made me wise

Chorus
Take me to the cynic clinic
I really need help, can I get some here?
Take me to the cynic clinic
I need a shot in the arm or a kick in the rear
Take me to the cynic clinic
Tie up my tongue, pull the plank from my eye
Take me to the cynic clinic
Put me on a diet of Holy Humble Pie

Before I got here, I thought I knew a lot
I took pot shots on everyone on top
But now I'm getting better, even as I speak
I only judged my pastor three times last week
The doctor says prognosis is looking really fine
He's got the right credentials to put me back in line
So when I see a jerk, who's acting like a dope
I refer them to the clinic, that's where I found my hope

Repeat chorus